He cocks an eyebrow. “Really? Because you’re seen with a different woman every week. At the rate you’re going, you’ll have dated more women than him.”
His assertion stings. “Oh, come on.”
“And you show as much discernment as he does. Or dogs noticing a bitch in heat.”
“That’s unfair.”
“You think so? What’s unfair is my having to worry about one of them showing up pregnant.” He points a finger in the general direction outside, his eyes flashing with fury and concern.
“That won’t happen. I got a vasectomy.”
“Look how that worked out for Ted Lasker! Seven kids! Ha!”
“From a highly reputable doctor,” I add tightly.And Ted’s was performed over thirty years ago.
“Good. That way you won’t produce heirs for the family. But that doesn’t mean I’m fine with you bringing your personal baggage to the office.”
“I didn’t bring her. And I’ve already said it won’t happen again. Twice.”
“It shouldneverhave happened. You’ve spent your entire adult life unable to stick with anybody for more than a month. The frustrating thing is, you didn’t stay with any of them because they were never right for you. You’re a smart boy. You’ve been purposely selecting women you know are unsuitable, wining and dining them a few times, and then breaking up with them.” Dad gives me a long, steady stare. “What are you afraid of?”
The question sucks the breath out of my lungs. “What?” My response is barely audible, then I manage a fake laugh to hide the tremor starting in my heart.
Dad picks his words with care. “Do you think you’ll end up with somebody like Zoe? Because I initially fell head over heels in love with her?”
It takes all my effort to ignore the need to look away. His incisive questioning hurts, especially since I look up to him so much. “This isn’t about your past with Mom,” I manage hoarsely. “I’m just having some fun before settling down.”
“You’re thirty. Not exactly a hormone-driven college kid.”
“Still young.”
He gazes at me for a moment. “Pietas et unitas. What do you think the family motto means?”
“Loyalty and unity,” I say promptly, relieved he’s switched to a subject I’m more comfortable with. “That’s how we treat family. I’ve never deviated from that.”
“Yes, but that isn’t all. It also means you need to be somebody worthy of our family’s loyalty and unshakable trust. Do you believe how you’re behaving in your personal life is worthy or even honorable? You think your personal life has no impact, but look how it’s bled into your professional life—and the family’s legal legacy.”
Dad isn’t cruel or harsh. But the matter-of-fact way he speaks…the sympathy mingled with pity in his eyes cuts me deeply.
He continues, “Only you can look inside your own heart. So how you present yourself to the world matters. You aren’t acting like a true Huxley, Josh. Take some time to reflect. If you believe you’re on the wrong path, correct course before it’s too late. And don’t let my mistake with your mother affect you. I’d hate to see you throw away a chance at happiness and fulfillment out of fear. She isn’t worth it. Don’t forget—you’re my son. A Huxley.”
What about the Dunkel blood in my veins? I’m at least half Dunkel.The words get stuck in my throat like scalding iron marbles.
“You can return to work,” he says, switching to partner mode. “If what happened with that woman happens again, it will affect your future at the firm.”
Nodding woodenly, I stand, then walk out. My feet move mechanically, carrying me to my office.
Dad probably hasn’t had this kind of talk with Ares or Bryce. After all, they haven’t done anything like me.
You aren’t acting like a true Huxley.
Then am I acting like a Dunkel?
I shudder. Cold sweat coats my skin, creating a clammy film. The need to pound on something is almost overwhelming, but I’m at work. A familiar restlessness churns in my belly, the same as after one of my nightmares. I clench my teeth and curl my fists.
Settle the fuck down. Dad’s just worried and disappointed.
Still, I can feel the sticky whispers in my ear—the sugary breath that tickled as Mom spoke to me.You’re the most like me. I’m most proud of you.
