“Totally. And of course so was Katt.”
I exhale shakily. This just feels…surreal. I’m not the kind of person who stars in a viral video. Actually…was I even the star? Whoever put it up probably wanted to focus on Katt. “Oh, I see,” I say, although my tone’s more likeshit. “And Mom was checking me out to see if I looked good when I arrived.”
“Girlfriend, you looked amazing. And your boss? That man’s ass ischef’s kiss.”Max makes a kissing noise and does the fingers.
Totally, but I’m not sharing my thoughts on that with her. It’d only encourage her. “Were you staring at his ass the entire time?”
“No. But the person who filmed it moved their phone around until they could get his ass, too. Priorities. Anyway, thatjerk! Iknewsomething was off about him! He was just too slick for a dentist!”
“You didn’t think he was too bad last night,” I point out.
She crosses her arms. “No. I texted to ask if you were sure, then told you not to do anything hasty, like eloping, until we could talk today. I swear, my boss is the least helpful person in the world!” She shakes her head.
I nod in sympathy, since she couldn’t even come home last night. The man works her hard. If the pay and perks weren’t so fabulous, she would’ve quit a long time ago.
She continues, “I’ve been trying to tell you this. When I went into that monkey-butt-face’s office for a cleaning two weeks ago—”
“You mean to check and see what he was like,” I correct her dryly.
“—he fondled my gums with his finger with thislookon his face. You know, the look guys get when they’re watching porn and jerking off.”
“I’m afraid I don’t have your depth of experience. But how could you tell? Wasn’t he was wearing a mask?”
“Yeah, but his eyes—they were creepy. Looked like he was getting a hard-on from it. And trust me, I recognize hard-on eyes when I see ’em.”
“Ew. How come you didn’t tell me?”
“Itried, but you got distracted because he kept texting you that evening. You were annoyed, and it sounded like you were going to dump him, so I didn’t want to pile on when you were already acting really bummed about it. If he was on the way out anyway, why add insult to injury?” Max clears her throat awkwardly, then purses her lips. “I totally freaked out when you texted that you got engaged!”
I sigh. “I should’ve paid more attention to you.”
“I’m just glad you’re done with him!” Her eyes flash with renewed annoyance. “Scumbag. I should’ve punched his face when he told me that a gum massage is complimentary to all new patients. Ugh! With that smarmy smirk!” She executes a pretty decent left hook, making me laugh.
My phone vibrates on the table again. Another text from Mom. I try not to sigh, but it’s impossible.
“What’s that? Better not be that asshole trying to get you back.”
“It’s just Mom, wanting to know when I’m coming back to apologize to Katt.”
“For what?”
“Stealing her fiancé.” I shovel more food into my mouth.
Max’s jaw slackens. “She was engaged to Chad, too?”
“No! Josh. Well, he hasn’t proposed, but Katt called dibs on him, I guess? I mean, they were seen together all the time, at least on Instagram. Except he told me Katt faked those photos.”
“Loooooord.” Max’s voice is full of an eye roll. “That girl’s about as genuine as Corinthian leather. And I don’t want to say this, because I know you care about your mom…but shesucks. I’ll probably never forgive her for calling you a home-wrecker.”
I sigh. “Yeah. That’s why I’ve been ignoring their texts. I don’t want to see them until they get a chance to calm down.”
“I get to be your maid of honor when you marry Josh, right?”
“You’ll be my maid of honor no matter what, but I’m not marrying him.”
“Why not?” She narrows her eyes. “Wait—some kind of disease?”
“What? No! He’s fine! It’s just… He didn’t really mean it, Max. It was a pity engagement, something he said to save my dignity. It’d be weird for me to act like it was real. Plus, he’s almost never seen with the same woman twice, and I’m ninety-nine percent sure he’s blacklistedallhis exes. Lucky for me, he likes me and I do a good job for him, so I’m safe for the moment. But if I want tostaysafe, I need to get the hint and do the right thing and end the ‘engagement’ before he gets restless. I’lldieif he starts looking at me like I’m pathetic.”
