But if it was a dream, why is my face buried in Josh’s chest, and my leg wrapped around him? And why is he just as naked as I am? Even with my eyes closed, I can tell who it is. The gorgeous, lean body? It’s like my fingers can read Josh Braille. That scent that never fails to turn me on?
Oh yes, I can tell. Even now, I’m getting a little wet. My cheeks turn hot so fast, I’m shocked I don’t just combust.
It’s okay,I tell myself. This isn’t the end of the world. I can sneak out and regroup. If I can just elegantly pull back one of my legs, which is thrown over his taut waist, my thigh so close to his penis…
I try to move, then give up. My muscles are like Jell-O. If I try to move, I might brush against his private parts, and then it’ll look like I’m trying to seduce him. Again.
Awkward. And embarrassing.
My emotions are all over the place. Josh famously never sleeps with the same woman twice. So we aren’t doing this again. It’s a crime that I used up my one time with Josh and can’t recall it with crystal clarity to replay later.
Disappointment bursts in my chest.Is he already tired of me?Despite my fuzzy memory, I know the sex we had was amazing. I can tell from the way I’m sore—in averygood way. Another kind of body Braille.
I’ve never felt this relaxed, safe and happy after sleeping with a guy. Normally I wake up slightly dissatisfied, like I’ve been denied the final bite I needed to be fully sated.
I really hope it was as good for him as it was for me, but given his history—
“What are you thinking about?” Josh asks. “You’re so tense.”
“I’m just…awake,” I squeak. “Not thinking.”
He snorts, but the sound is affectionate. “You’ve been awake for a while. So. What’s up?”
“Well…”
“Tell me.”
“I just, um, want you to know that I amnotusually like that.” I wave my hand, unsure how to pick the right words. I’m not the lawyer here.
“Define ‘that.’”And, of course, Josh is.
“Uh…” I clear my throat, trying to gather my courage. I hope I never get cross-examined by him in court. “Like…doing things to you while you were asleep. That was so wrong. I should know better. I don’t knowwhatcame over me.” I cringe inwardly. It isn’t easy to lay out the humiliating thoughts, but I don’t want to lie to him after taking advantage of him.
He tenses. His dark eyebrows pinch together as displeasure clouds his eyes.
Oh crap.He’s upset. The silence suffocates me, and I start to talk to make him understand: “It really isn’t like me to be so forward, and I’m not that sexy or hot or anything like that and—”
“Are we speaking the same language?” he demands.
I hesitate, unsure where this is going and not wanting to upset him more. “Yes…?”
“Oh?” He couldn’t sound more doubtful. “Because I don’t think we’re operating from the same definition of ‘hot.’ Or ‘sexy.’ I almost died from wanting you, and I won’t allow you to put yourself down.”
“But—”
He puts his hand over my mouth. “No buts. I mean it. You’re a damn sexy woman, and you’ll never disparage yourself again. If you do”—he pauses, his brow furrowing—“you’ll be punished.”
My mouth dries. I recall his earlier warning that if I ever call him “boss” again, he’ll kiss me until I remember who he is. Like, that kind of punishment? Or maybe a…spanking…? “How?” I ask, a little bit breathless.
“Something will present itself.” The dark glitter in his eyes promises that he will push my body to the limit to teach me a lesson.
I lick my lips. Whatever he does will test me, but he’ll never really hurt me. I always feel safe around him.
“Um.” I glance at our bodies entwined on the tangled sheets. “So does this mean I’m sleeping in your bed from now on?” I ask, just to be certain.
“Yes.”
“And we’re going to…do it again?”
