All these years. She never stopped.
She never stopped caring, even when I did.
I swallow hard, my heart pounding in my chest, the weight of everything suddenly crushing.
Mr Hamilton watches me carefully. “She never said much. Just left the flowers, stood there for a few minutes, and went on her way.”
I clench my jaw, trying to breathe past the tightness in my chest.
His voice lowers. “But the way she looked at that headstone?” He shakes his head. “She never stopped missing you, son.”
My stomach turns, something raw scraping against my ribs.
I should have fucking known.
I look back at the flowers.
Sweat peas. Mum’s favourites. Mum was allergic to most flowers, pollen gave her headaches, made her eyes water. But sweet peas? They were safe. No heavy scent, no sneezing fits. She always said they were the only flowers she’d ever let me bring inside as a kid.
I swallow hard.
Lila would remember that.
Of course she would.
She paid attention to things most people overlooked. The little details. The things that mattered.
Even the things I’d let myself forget.
A goddamn punch to the gut and in that moment, I know.
I can’t leave.
Not like this.
Not again.
Because I finally get it.
She didn’t push me away because she hated me. She pushed me away because she was scared. Scared I’d leave again. Scared I’d destroy her all over again. She kept coming here, she remembered. My hands fist at my sides, my heart pounding harder, my pulse roaring in my ears.
I need to fix this.
I need to fix everything.
Hamilton exhales, stepping back. “Whatever happened between you two…” He nods toward the flowers. “You still have time.”
I clench my jaw, my fists tight at my sides. For a moment, I look at Mr Hamilton, not as the caretaker from my childhood, but as a kid again, hoping someone will tell me it’s not too late. That I haven’t missed my chance.
His gaze holds mine, steady and knowing. Like he already believes I can fix this, even if I’m not sure myself.
But I don’t wait.
I turn and walk away, purpose surging through me.
Because Lila Ng is mine.
This time, I’m not fucking leaving without her.
