Everything I didn’t deserve.
So I left.
Not because I didn’t love her, but because I did. Because I couldn’t stand to look at her and know what I’d lost. Because pride, stupid, reckless pride, convinced me it was better to walk away than let her see how far I’d fallen.
Now she’s standing here, looking at me like I’m some villain hell-bent on destroying her world, when all I’ve ever done is destroy mine.
Something hot and violent burns in my chest.
I reach blindly for the nearest object, a cup, hurling it across the room. It shatters against the wall, shards scattering across the floor.
Lila jumps.
“You think I’d burn everything down just to get even? You think I hate you that much?”
Her breath stutters, but she says nothing.
So I keep going. Voice low, wrecked. Raw.
“I don’t hate you, Lila. I never fucking did.”
She looks at me, stricken. Lost.
She swallows, but she doesn’t answer.
That’s all it takes for me to break.
I let out a sharp breath, hands flexing at my sides. Lila’sbrows pull together, and I shake my head, laughing bitterly, running a hand over my face like I can scrub away the weight pressing down on me.
She wants the truth?
She can have it.
I step even closer, towering over her, forcing her to see the wreckage she left behind.
Her breath catches.
“You want to know the real reason I left?” My voice drops lower, rougher. “Because I couldn’t stand being near you.”
She flinches, and it guts me. But I’m too far gone to stop now.
“I couldn’t look at you without thinking about everything I lost. Everything I should have had. You were the one thing in my life that felt real, and I—” My throat closes, but I force the words out. “I couldn’t have you.”
She blinks, her breath shuddering. “Ben…”
I laugh, but it’s hollow. Dark. Fucking broken.
“You were everything good, and I was drowning.” I shake my head. “You deserved better.”
She stares at me, eyes wide, raw, full of something I can’t name.
Her face twists, her hands trembling, her lips parting like she’s about to say something.
But she doesn’t.
She just breaks and fuck, I feel it.
Like a live wire sparking between us, like something that’s been stretched too tight for too long finally snaps.
