I let out a shaky breath, my fingers curling into my sleeves.
His jaw tightens, and for the first time, I see it, the vulnerability he’s trying so hard to mask. The hesitation in his eyes, like he’s bracing for me to shut him down.
“I’ve spent years convincing myself I didn’t need you, that I could move on, build something bigger, be someone bigger.” His voice cracks slightly, but he pushes through. “But I was lying. To myself. To everyone. You were always there, even when you weren’t. I know I’ve been a selfish bastard, but I swear, Lila, if there’s even the smallest chance you could trust me again, I’ll do whatever it takes.”
My breath catches. “Ben…”
He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck, his shoulders dropping slightly. He looks down, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, and for a moment, I see it, the seventeen-year-old who once stood outside my house, nervous and hopeful, asking me out for the first time.
That same hesitation flickers in his eyes now. Just Ben, stripped bare, laying himself out before me.
“I’ve made a mess of everything, and I know that. But for the first time in a long time, I don’t have some grand plan or calculated move. It’s just me, standing here, hoping like hell you don’t walk away.”
My heart pounds so hard I swear he can hear it. The world around us seems to shrink, the distant hum of the city fading into nothing. This moment, everything feels surreal, like something out of a dream I’ve had too many times but never let myself believe in. My fingers tremble at my sides, my breath catching in my throat. I want to say something, to move, to reach for him but I’m frozen, trapped between the past and the terrifying possibility of a future I never thought I could haveagain.
Ben exhales, the tension in his shoulders barely easing, like he’s bracing himself for the worse. The wind stirs between us, carrying the scent of the trees and the faint murmur of voices in the distance. His fingers twitch at his sides, like he wants to reach for me, but doesn’t know if he should. Finally, he speaks.
“I– I have to go back to London. Wrap up some projects, deal with the fallout of my grand declaration this morning. But I’ll come back, if you’ll have me.”
He reaches for my hand, his fingers warm against mine. My pulse stutters as he presses something into my palm, a small envelope.
“Open it later,” he says, his lips brushing my forehead in a feather-light kiss. “I’ll be waiting.”
***
The cafe is dark except for the soft glow of fairy lights strung along the walls, casting a warm, golden hue over the empty space. The closed sign hangs on the door, but inside, it’s just me and the girls, our private Books that Bang book club, which tonight was supposed to double as a celebration. Except I don’t feel like celebrating.
I sit at the counter instead of our usual table, the envelope resting in front of me, my fingers tracing over the edges. The smell of coffee lingers, comforting yet grounding, making this all feel too real. My friends chat around me, sipping wine and laughing, but it doesn’t take long before they realise I’m not chiming in.
“You look like someone hit you with a freight train,” Olivia says, sliding into the seat across from me, eyeing me likeI should be bouncing with excitement. “Shouldn’t we be celebrating? The town’s saved. Evil developer reformed. Cue the happy ending.”
I let out a sigh, rubbing a hand over my face. “Because it’s not that simple.” They blink at me, confused. With my heart in my throat, I spill everything.
They listen. They let me speak and when it’s all out, I drop my gaze to the table, my finger tracing invisible lines. I’m a tangled mess of feelings and I don’t know what to do with any of it.
Sophie’s eyebrows shoot up. “In here? Damn, Lila.”
Olivia smacks her arm. “Focus.”
Willow tilts her head. “Do you regret it?”
I shake my head instantly. “No. That’s the problem. It wasn’t just sex. It was… as if I found a part of me again and I want more, that terrifies me.”
Olivia exhales. “Because if it’s real, that means it could fall apart again.”
I nod, my throat tight. “Exactly. I don’t get happy endings, guys. I’ve watched people leave my whole life. My dad, Ben, nearly this whole damn town at one point. I’ve fought for everything I have and now I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff. If I jump, I don’t know if there’s going to be anything to catch me.”
Willow reaches across the table and grabs my hand, squeezing tight. “Lila, I need you to hear me,” she says, her voice softer than I’ve ever heard it. “We may not have known each other our whole lives, but sometimes, it feels like I’ve known you forever. You, Olivia, Sophie, you’re my family and family means sticking around, no matter what.”
My chest tightens, the weight of her words pressing againstsomething raw inside me.
“You think you’re alone in this, but you’re not,” she continues. “You’ll always have us. Whether you jump or not, whether it works out with Ben or it doesn’t, we’re here and we’re not going anywhere.”
I blink rapidly, willing the tears not to fall. “Why do you guys always do this?” I mutter, attempting a weak laugh. “I came here to sulk, not get a therapy session.”
Sophie grins. “Too bad. You’re stuck with us.”
Olivia nudges my arm. “You deserve love, Lila. The kind that doesn’t leave. If there’s even a chance Ben could be that for you, don’t you think you owe it to yourself to find out?”
