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“Jesus, Garrett. Where’s this coming from? Did she say something to you when you picked the kids up?”
I sigh. “Yes, but it’s not about that. It’s just… Have I been living removed from reality? It’s my choice to do this. I could do something else—be something else. Be home more.”
“Come on, Garrett, this is bullshit and you know it. What you do, what you sacrifice—it’s noble. It’s not something to be ashamed of. You’re teaching your kids things by showing them the importance of dedication to your community and other people. You’re showing them the good kind of sacrifice. This isn’t some selfish bid for attention—it’s a part of saving people’s lives. Don’t let some messed up shit from your ex-wife’s mouth change your mind.”
I rub a rough hand along the back of my neck. I’m tired. I’m dirty. But I also feel like I’ve made a difference. It just feels like I’m missing—
“Stop overthinking this, buddy. You’re good. Your kids are good. Every minute you’re allowed to spend with them, you’re there. And not just a little bit, dude. I’ve seen you with them. You’re a good dad, okay?”
I move my hand from the back of my neck to my face and sink my head into it.
“And what about the rest of it? Should I just give up on being with someone? I mean, it’ll never be fair to a woman, Jake. The amount I’m gone. The time I’m out of touch.”
“That’s not true.”
“Look at Lauren, man,” I counter. “We had our first date, and then I disappeared for a week. I called her at three o’clock in the goddamn morning today because I’d lost all track of real life and time.”
“And, what? She told you you’re a piece of shit?”
I laugh. “No.”
“Then, what?”
“I don’t know if it’s fair, asking her to be a part of this. Maybe she’s better off if I just call her back and cancel tomorrow night. Let her meet someone else.”
“Tomorrow night?”
“We’re supposed to go on a second date.”
“Ah, shit. Listen. Don’t cancel. Just…take Holley and me with you. We’ll double it up like a couple of fucking sorority sisters, okay?”
“Jake.”
“We’ll help you, dude,” he persists. “All Lauren needs to know are all the reasons you’re worth it. And there are a lot, okay?” He sighs. “Jesus. I should kick you in the dick for making me get all sentimental and shit.”
I shake my head. “Springing a double date on her the second time we go out is weird.”
“It’s not. She’s invested already. She just needs to know all the support that comes with you as a package deal.”
My eyebrows draw together as I consider what he’s said. “How do you know she’s invested?”
“Because I saw her. At dinner last night at Wu-Tang Clam. Matt and I went after work.”
I swallow hard.
“She came in there to eat by herself like a badass. I swear she turned every head in the place, but one look at me and she almost broke down in tears.”
“She almost cried?” I ask, my chest squeezing tight.
“She cares.”
I growl. “You’re not getting it. That’s the point, man. I don’t want to upset her. I don’t want to make her life worse.”
“Too late, Garrett. She’s already in the game.”
“Yeah, bro, but it’s only the first quarter.”
“Are you trying to tell me, in your football days, you cared less in the first quarter than you did in the fourth?”
“I don’t even think that applies here, dude.” I shake my head. “We’re new.”
“Okay, then. Tell me. Since you’re so new, are you saying you wouldn’t be upset if it didn’t work out between the two of you?”
No. Truthfully, I’m a little scared by how upset I would probably be.
He takes my silence for what it is—tacit agreement.
“Exactly. The best thing you can do is move forward, but give her the damn tools to survive a life with you. She’s tough. She can handle it.”
God, I hope he’s right.
January 26th
Garrett
I wasn’t sure how Lauren would be when I got back after being gone for an entire week, but I wasn’t expecting her to be a different person entirely. It’s not that she isn’t fun or vibrant or beautiful—she is definitely all of those things. But it’s also kind of like she hit her head, got a concussion, and didn’t seek medical help.
Obviously, I’m kidding. Well, sort of.
It’s just that ever since we started this escape room with Jake and Holley, Lauren has been a comical, one-woman circus of distraction. I mean, maybe she’s simply not good at problem solving in this type of setting…but seriously, she’s so bad.
Our group’s goal? Escape this supposedly haunted little girl’s bedroom before the hour time limit is up.
But every time it seems like Holley, Jake, or I get a handle on something, Lauren dumps in an opposing viewpoint. Not to mention Holley and Jake have spent most of their time talking me up instead of focusing on the escape room objective.
