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Quackie Chan.
These people killed me.
I put my hood up to keep a little more of the cold wind off me as we made our way to the pond. Mabel’s bag swung with every step she could, and she nattered on about something to Saylor who was answering with the smallest of grunts.
“Hello! Hello!” Mabel pulled some leafy greens and a big bag of pumpkin seeds from the bag. The ducks all came running over when they saw her, wearing various bow ties and bandanas.
I felt like I’d stepped into Alice in Wonderland and they were going to start talking any moment.
“Hello, darlings!”
Saylor flashed me a look that screamed that I had to get her out of here.
She could suffer. She was the reason I was out here. I wasn’t about to help her.
The ducks all swarmed around Mabel’s feet, quacking and flapping their wings. She emptied the bag of spinach onto the floor and the duck went nuts, all diving in in an attempt to get it. One duck grabbed a bunch and ran with it, making three others follow it, quacking loudly.
“I think we should get chickens,” Mabel said loudly. “We’d get more eggs! And we could hatch babies.”
“I think you have enough birds,” Saylor replied wearily. “Twenty-seven ducks is enough.”
“I disagree. I think I’m going to start lobbying people for a chicken coop.”
“Why don’t you ask Leonard to help you? He seems fond of you,” I noted.
Mabel blushed.
Looked as if that was more than a little mutual.
“Can you not?” Saylor stared at me. “She doesn’t need encouragement.”
Mabel looked at us. “What’s going on with you two? Are you giving me great-grandbabies?”
What was everyone’s obsession with great-grandbabies today?
“I saw the way he looked at you when you walked in. I looked at my doctor like that when he gave me cream for my hemorrhoids.”
Lovely.
“A little too forward thinking there, Grandma,” Saylor responded, tossing some seeds in the direction of the ducks. “And I’ll pretend I didn’t hear the tidbit about your doctor.”
“Same,” I muttered, shuddering at the thought. “We’re… seeing where things go,” I said diplomatically.
“Yeah. What he said.”
Mabel gave us both a pointed look. “I know where it’s going. To the altar. And the maternity ward.”
“Okay, you saying that doesn’t make it any less true—”
“You don’t think you could marry him?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You implied it.”
“I think you need a nap, Grandma.”
I smiled. “Mabel, it’s fine. I figure that if I can get her to date me, I can probably talk her into marrying me eventually.”
Saylor choked on her own saliva.
Mabel cackled and tossed one last handful of seeds to the ducks, then blew them a kiss goodbye. “I like you. You’ll give my great-grandbabies some good genes.”
“Can everyone stop discussing my uterus now?” Saylor huffed, shoving her hands in her pockets. “That’s the last time I bring your ducks treats. Look how you treat me.”
“Back in my day, our parents were involved in our relationships.”
“Yes, but we don’t live in the sixteenth century in Tudor England.”
“If we did, you’d have been beheaded for having too much attitude.” I laughed, getting the door for them both.
Mabel fanned herself.
Saylor, predictably, rolled her eyes.
“Mabel! You need to get yourself changed for lunch.” Oscar, the male nurse who usually manned the front desk, rushed over to us. “Amanda is having kittens looking for you.”
“Well, she didn’t look very hard, did she? Look at the size of them windows.” She pointed at the floor-to-ceiling windows that ran the length of the living room. “You’d see a gnat’s cock with those.”
Oscar sighed. “Mabel, please just go to your room and get changed.”
“Depends what’s for lunch.”
“Grandma, stop being so awkward. We all know you’re going to do it anyway, so just go.” Saylor kissed her cheek and turned her in the direction of the hall.
“You’re supposed to be on my side!” Mabel called when she hobbled off. “I’ll remember this!”
Oscar rubbed his hand down his face. “I need a new job.”
Saylor laughed. “No, you don’t. You love it here. Just invest in some dye for the gray hairs they’re giving you and you’ll be fine.”
“I need something stronger than hair dye, let me tell you.” He touched her arm. “Right, I need to make sure she doesn’t take another detour like usual. See you soon.”
Saylor waved goodbye. I stopped into the main room to get my stuff, then followed her out.
“He seems nice.”
She side-eyed me. “Really. Because he touched my arm.”
“I was just making an observation.” I put my bag in the back of my car which was parked two down from hers. “That’s all.”
She leaned against my car and folded her arms. “Are you jealous?”
“I don’t get jealous.”
“You look jealous.”
“Really? Like how you looked in the sports bar with Rosie?”
She pursed her lips. “Yes. Just like that.”
Damn. She admitted it. “Fine. He was very familiar with you.”
