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“Have you told him that?”
She pulled some paper towels from the dispenser and shook her head. “It never gets far enough for me to say how I feel. It’s only been three months. I love him but I’m not ready to live with him. No matter how many times he bribes me with turning a spare room into a library.”
“Can I move in with him?”
A tiny laugh escaped her. “I’m not ready for that. Kinsley and Josh don’t live together even though they spend almost every night together and they’ve been together longer than we have.”
“Well, I’ve been dating Dylan for five minutes and we live together, so I’m not the best person here.”
“You’re dating him because you live together. Bit of a difference.”
“That’s true. You need to talk to Seb and be honest or it’s just going to end up in a huge fight.”
“I know. I’ll talk to him tonight.” She tossed the towels in the trash. “It’s just hard. I don’t want to upset him.”
“I know. You won’t. He’d be more upset that you’re keeping this to yourself. You’ve had enough miscommunications in your relationship. Don’t add another.”
“You’re right. I know you’re right.” She sighed heavily. “So dating Dylan, huh? I thought you weren’t set on a label.”
“We went to Dartree Mountain today for a new microwave and—”
“You went to the bookstore, didn’t you?”
Doing my best to look innocent, I nodded. “I was in there forever, and he waited. And he didn’t complain.” I looked down at my feet. “Holley, I—I think I’m falling in love with him.”
She stared at me. “I’m sorry, what?”
I pulled myself up to sit on the edge of the sink counter and let my feet swing. “Like, after I’d been there today, I felt all this… stuff. I’ve been hiding how I feel about him because it scared me, but now that he’s staying to do this business with Seb and there aren’t visa issues and I know he’s going to stay living with me… I think everything hit me today.” I met her gaze. “And I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, I’d advise no more air hockey.”
“You’re a dick.”
She smiled. “Take your own advice, Say. Be honest with him. Tell him how you genuinely feel about him. Make it official, not this bullshit ‘we’re seeing where it goes’ line you’ve been using on everyone.”
“But what if—”
“If he breaks your heart, I’ll break his neck,” she said flatly. “But he won’t. He’s your Seb. He’s your Josh. He’s your Kai. I thought that the moment I met him. I think he’s the one for you, and I think you believe that, too.”
I stared at my feet. She wasn’t wrong. I did believe he was the one for me, deep down.
But that didn’t mean I wasn’t afraid that I wasn’t the one for him.
And now that I’d admitted that to myself, I wanted to be.
I wanted to be the one for him.
I never would be as long as I let my fear of rejection get in the way. The more I feared it, the more I manifested it into existence.
Maybe Dylan was the one person who wouldn’t reject me.
After all, the time he’d stopped me kissing him was only to make sure I knew what I was doing. That wasn’t the rejection I’d thought it would be, it was only a delay.
It’d been a few days. Only mere days since that moment where I’d walked across the kitchen, but I knew.
I couldn’t be afraid anymore.
Because if I was, I’d lose everything.
And Saylor Green did not lose.
CHAPTER TWENTY – SAYLOR
RULE TWENTY: GRAB IT BY THE BALLS. LIFE, THAT IS. NOT THE GUY. THAT WON’T HELP YOU WHEN YOU’RE FLIRTING.
“Do you believe in soulmates?”
Dylan peered over his shoulder at me. “That’s a very deep question for seven a.m., Pinky.”
“I know. I just… I’ve been thinking about it after me and Holley talked yesterday.”
“You need to stop getting up early. It’s addling your brain.” He passed a coffee over the island to me. “Why do you ask?”
“It’s been bugging me because I don’t know if I do. Like, I think Ivy and Kai are meant to be together. Holley and Seb, Kins and Josh, even Tori and Colton. But soulmates?”
He blew out a long breath and leaned over the island, cradling his tea mug. “I don’t know, honestly. I think the idea that there’s only one person for each of us is extremely short-sighted, a bit like thinking we’re the only life in an endless universe.”
“I regret ever introducing you to Ancient Aliens.”
“May have been a bad idea,” he agreed with a twinkle in his eye. “But the idea of soulmates is an intriguing one. Maybe there’s more than one way to have a soulmate.”
“But the definition of a soulmate is the person whose soul matches yours.”
“Does it have to be romantic? If you ask me, you have several soulmates. Holley, Kinsley, Ivy, Tori… They’re all irreplaceable people in your life who understand you on a deep level.”
