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“That’s the deal.”
“I probably shouldn’t root for him.”
“You definitely shouldn’t,” I said on a chuckle.
“Would it be so bad, coming back?”
“Coming back would mean I failed the farm and Pop too. I don’t know how I’d live with myself, Annette.”
A sigh. “You’re missed here. I didn’t realize that you were the glue holding your team together. The last month has been a shitshow and not just at the office. It’s been a long time since I’ve lived alone, since before you came to me. My next phase is cat lady, and I’m not sure if I love that look for me.”
“I don’t know. I could see it. Maybe get one of those hairless cats.”
She made a disgusted noise. “They look like ballsacks with eyes, Livi. I’d never sleep again with one of those things lurking around my house.”
A laugh bubbled out of me.
“What? I’m not an animal person.”
“Oh, I know.”
“Which is why you won’t be surprised I think you should come back. Leave the farm to the farmers and come take a senior marketing position at the firm.”
My hands paused over an open drawer of underwear. “Jill left?”
“She’s moving to Seattle with her new husband, and I’ve got a spot to fill.”
I was stunned silent for a moment. “That’s a big career jump.”
“Well, how else will I lure you back?” she asked on a laugh.
“Annette …”
“Don’t say no. Just think about it, okay? If things don’t work out there, Jill leaves in October. The spot is yours, if you want it.”
I didn’t argue like I wanted to. Instead, I said, “Thank you. I’m honored, really. Jill has my dream job.”
“For now. Just saying. I miss you, kid. You … well, you’re all I have left of Sarah. I didn’t realize just how much you filled your mom’s space in my heart until you were here. I wasn’t ready to let you go. I thought I had more time.”
My heart twisted in my chest. It didn’t matter what I did—I was abandoning someone.
“So did I,” I said quietly. “I miss you too. And New York. And people.” She laughed, and the sound made me smile. “But I’m not coming back unless I lose.”
“I’ll take what I can get. You don’t want to come back right now anyway—it’s a thousand degrees and hasn’t stopped raining for four days. Enjoy California while you’re there. And that big, smelly jerk while you’re at it.”
“The one who hates me?”
“You know what they say—that line between love and hate is thin indeed. Maybe you two need to just bang it out.”
“Oh my God.” I giggled, closing one drawer to deposit some tees into another. “On that note, I have some goats to milk.”
“Please, please record that.”
“It’s the same as milking a cow, and I know how to milk a cow.”
“Somehow, I have a feeling your goats are going to be less willing.”
“Then wish me luck.”
“Good luck! Don’t get kicked in the moneymaker.”
“I love you,” I said, laughing.
“I love you too, peanut. Talk soon.”
We said our goodbyes, and I was left alone in my quiet room, missing my old life. For the first time since I’d come home, I felt the pull back to New York. The life I’d had there felt far away, like another person in another time. The hustle of the city, the bustle of a demanding job. Everything felt important, every choice, big or small. My old friends and colleagues were too busy and wrapped up in their lives to do more than text, leaving me questioning the depths of my relationships.
But it was the life I’d known for a long time, longer than I’d lived here, as Jake had so graciously pointed out. That Olivia had a promising career in the best city in the world, a speeding train that was going somewhere big. This Olivia had a career ahead of her that would never make her rich, would never gain her power or accolades. This career was a sack race that stuck close to home.
But this job was maybe the most important job of my life. And while it wasn’t prestigious or elite, it was genuine. And the stakes were much, much higher. Decisions were a matter of survival, not only of mine, but that of the whole farm, human and animal alike.
When my laundry was put away, I grabbed the stack of custom-made pajamas I was going to put on the kids and headed out to the barn.
The goat pen was a hotbed of action. I’d bought five does and their kids, plus one buck for breeding, and all eight baby goats were leaping around the pen, chasing each other while I set up my phone to record. They stopped and rushed me when I stepped through the gate. Laughing, I took a seat on the stool and gave them a little love before picking one to put pajamas on.
