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Everything had changed because of her, but not one single thing—not even the goats—was a detriment. I couldn’t go back to the way things were. And I couldn’t do this without her.
I’d fallen in love with her.
I couldn’t help but wonder if Frank had intended that too.
What have I done?
It wasn’t a dawning of realization, a slow rise of understanding. It was the crack of thunder.
She would never have put the farm in danger. She never would have sold. She couldn’t have betrayed me even if she’d wanted to. Because she wasn’t the one to sell out.
The papers in my hand were proof—she would sacrifice everything to do what she thought was right. Even considering the Pattons’ money was all in the interest of the farm, just like she’d said. I’d just been too blind to see it. Too hurt to believe her.
I looked up at Jeremiah, who was watching me.
“I can’t sign this.” The words scratched their way up my dry throat.
“Well, why not?”
But I was already standing, folder under my arm. “Because without her, none of it matters.”
“Well, son—if you’ve got something to say to her, you’d better hurry. She’s leaving soon for the airport.”
“Leaving?” I breathed.
He nodded. “Back to New York. Asked me not to tell you.”
“She can’t leave. She can’t… I’ve got to—”
With a laugh, Jeremiah nudged me toward the door. “Go on, boy—get outta here quick.”
And I left him smiling behind me as I ran for my truck.
I loved her.
And I had to make sure she knew.
32
French Exit
OLIVIA
My pink suitcases were lined up like cheerful little soldiers on the porch.
I couldn’t stop crying.
Jolene lay so still in my arms, I wondered if she knew what was happening.
“Kit’s going to take such good care of you,” I promised, rocking her in a porch chair, scratching her neck and looking into her sweet face. “You’re going to be the most spoiled ever, you know that? She’s going to f-feed you hamburgers and steak and chicken with gravy. And you’ll have Bowie too. You’ll never be a-alone.”
The words dissolved, my eyes squeezed shut, and I gathered her up so I could bury my face in her scruff. She licked the tears from my cheek. I cried harder.
Alone again.
“Oh, honey,” Kit said from behind me, her voice cracking. “Come here.”
I stood, still holding Jolene in my arms as Kit wrapped me up in her arms, and for a moment, I leaned into her, tried to get it all out. But the tears were bottomless. By now, I knew that for fact.
When I broke away, I swiped at my cheeks.
“There has to be some way for you to stay,” Kit said through tears of her own. “There has to be.”
I shook my head. “It’s okay, Kit. I-I’ll be okay.”
“Just talk to Jake. I know he’ll come around.”
“It’s just better for everyone if I go. You all can get back to normal.”
“Nothing will ever be normal again, not like it was before Frank died. And here I thought we’d found a new normal, one Frank would be so proud of.”
“Me too.”
When my chin wobbled, she snatched me up again.
I’d gotten word from Jeremiah that Patton had signed the contract. The farm had all the money it could ever want for. James Patton, gone. Chase taking over. Everyone had gotten what they wanted.
Except for me.
Kit let me go and tried to dry her tears. “I don’t know how I’m ever going to get you to the airport in this state. Oh! I made you a meal. Let me go get it, and we’ll … well, we’ll go.” She paused. “Are you sure there’s nobody else you want to say goodbye to?”
I shook my head with a weak smile on my face. “I saw Presley last night, and Chase and I said goodbye this morning when he was making himself scarce.”
“Anybody else?” she nudged.
Another shake of my head. “I can’t. We said goodbye already. I can’t do it again.”
She pursed her lips when her face bent up and answered with a nod. With a whoosh, she headed inside.
I put Jolene on the ground and walked down the steps and a little bit away so I could see the farmhouse. It was where I’d truly grown up, the home I remembered best and knew so well. This farm was a sanctuary, one that had saved me as a little girl. All of my most meaningful experiences, all of my greatest joys, they’d been here, in this place. I thought I’d gotten it back. But then I’d lost it again.
It’s for the best, I told myself.
I wondered if I’d ever convince myself it was true.
I looked down at Jolene. “All right, girl. It’s time.”
Those pink suitcases waited for me on the white porch, but for the first time, they brought me no relief. No flash of optimism. That first pink suitcase brought me to a farm. To animals and fun and a doting grandfather and adventure.
