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Jay briefly holds his lower lip between his teeth, his eyes still focused hard on mine. I’m aware once again that this giant, mysterious beast is standing in my bedroom and I’m scantily clad in bed. It’s actually a lot better if I ignore that and concentrate on the horror at hand instead.
“Do you believe them?” he finally asks.
“Believe who?”
“The demons. What they said in your dream, not to trust me.”
I look down and anxiously run my hand along the blanket, looking for a loose thread to pick at. “If actual demons are invading my dreams and telling me this, then no. If my subconscious is telling me this . . . that’s a different story.” I pause. “And wouldn’t you say that’s all this is. My subconscious?”
I glance up and meet his eyes. I swear I see them shift from ice to slate and back again. Considering who, or what, he is, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn they do that, only I have no idea what it means.
“I suppose your subconscious has a lot of . . . letting go to do.”
My eyes narrow. “As if you know what it’s like to lose someone and let go. As if it’s that easy.”
His lips twist into a placating smile. “I can’t pretend that I do. And I was talking about letting go of your distrust of me.”
I nearly roll my eyes. “Right. Like that’s easy too. When it comes to dealing with human beings, trust is something that is earned, not given.”
If I hadn’t been watching him so closely, I think I would have missed the flash of sorrow on his face, as if I had insulted some deep part of him. But the look is so quick, I wonder if I saw it at all.
He nods and walks over to the window that looks over at the Knightlys’. “Regardless, it would be helpful if you didn’t put up your walls.”
“I don’t have walls,” I hiss at him. “You weren’t there. Anyway, how did you know I had a dream?”
“It’s a given at this point,” he says. “But when I tried to step in I couldn’t. I had no idea if you were alive or not. So I came over.”
I realize I’m staring at him horrified, a chill running over me. “You had no idea if I was alive or not? Why the hell wouldn’t I be?”
He slowly turns around to eye me and gives me a mild shrug. “Life is never a given, princess.”
This guy is unbelievable. I shake my head.
“So is that all?” I repeat tersely. “You just came in to check if I was alive or not.”
“Pretty much,” he says, eyeing my mug. “And to bring you your coffee. Though don’t expect this to be a day to day thing.”
“Thank god,” I mutter under my breath. Not that it would be so horrible to have him in my room every morning, bringing me coffee or otherwise. I clear my throat. “So what do you expect me to do next time this happens? When the walls go up, or whatever? I was calling for you in the dream, you know.”
“I could hear you,” he says grimly. “I just couldn’t see you. Don’t worry. I’ll find a way next time.”
“Right.” I finish the coffee and put it back on the bedside table. “And so what does it mean then, the fact that my father saw the very mother that I dreamed. Is my subconscious powerful enough to project itself? I know Perry’s is.”
He shakes his head and takes a step closer to the bed. “It means demons are real. And they’re starting to reach the unbelievers.”
To his credit, he doesn’t say it lightly.
I find it hard to swallow. “Will they come after him?” I ask, unable to mask the tremor in my voice.
“No. They’re just appearing as a way to get to you. Your father is safe.”
I study him, searching his face for the truth. I think I can glean it from his eyes, the determined set of his jaw. He’s asked me to trust him and sometimes I wonder if I have a choice.
My cell beside the bed suddenly beeps, making me jump. I pick it up and see a text from Amy, wondering if I’m still going with her to the music festival today. I’d totally forgotten all about it.
The Northwest Music Fest runs for three days in downtown Portland at the waterfront and other venues, showcasing a bunch of bands. This year Amy and I decided to get tickets to see Duran Duran on one of the nights and it totally slipped my mind that tonight was that night.
“What is it?” Jay asks, mildly curious.
“Nothing. I just forgot I had plans with Amy tonight.” Honestly, even though I know going out to a music festival is probably the best thing for me, I’m tempted to cancel on her. But I know she loves the band as much as I do and I really haven’t seen her since all this crazy shit happened.
