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I do my business—flicking on the fan and being extremely glad at how loud and rickety it is because the last thing I need right now is him hearing me—and then head back into the room.
Jay is lying in bed, the covers pulled over him, reading a book.
Shirtless.
My mouth drops open and I immediately clamp it shut.
He looks over the book to me, gives me a quick smile. “Are you doing okay?”
“Yup,” I tell him, trying so hard not to stare at his chest. But I do, oh I do! “Just screwing my head on straight.”
He nods and goes back to the pages.
I should walk over to the bed and get in on my side but I’m stuck here. My eyes are drawn to his chest.
It’s massive. I knew it would be. Firm wide pecs, rippled abs you could grate cheese on, rounded shoulders, and everything just as it should be on a beast such as him (though with only a dusting of chest hair –he’s not that much like a beast). And again, he’s more tanned than I thought he would be, the summer sun being kind to him. He nearly glows golden in the light from the bedside lamp.
I feel his gaze on me and quickly bring my eyes to his. He raises his brow in question.
“Just trying to see what you’re reading,” I tell him, hurrying to my side of the bed.
“Milton,” he says. “The graphic novel of Paradise Lost.”
“You’re kidding me,” I say, throwing back the covers and peering at the book, glad for something to distract me from getting into bed with Jay.
He shows it to me. “It’s graphic novel of Stephen King’s The Gunslinger.”
I can’t help but give him a puzzled smile as I bring the stiff sheets over me. “I didn’t know you liked those books. You’re full of surprises tonight.”
“You kept on calling the Thin Veil the “Thinny” so I decided I needed to know what you’re were talking about.” He pauses, cocking his head. “Not quite the same.”
“That’s good to know.” I pull the rest of the blankets up, not really sure how I should sleep. My back to him seems like the best, least awkward way (especially as he then can’t wake up to the sight of me drooling in my sleep), but it also seems a bit like a brush-off.
He decides it for me, shutting the book suddenly with a thwap and putting it on the table. He leans over to reach for the light switch on the lamp and I steal a glance of his torso as he twists in place, his muscles straining, the hint of boxer briefs under the sheets.
My god, he’s mesmerizing.
The lights go off and I promptly roll to my side, eyes open and adjusting to the dim room. The air conditioner kicks off and then on again, loud, but I can still hear him breathing beside me.
I wonder if I should say something.
Good night?
Thank you?
I’ve never slept with a ginger before?
But all my words stay inside my head, my mouth dry, my body too tense to relax. Having him beside me like this is confusing. I feel like I’m going around and around, unsure how to deal with this, even though this is nothing more than two friends (partners?) sleeping beside each other.
Nothing more.
Then, out of nowhere:
“You looked beautiful tonight, by the way.”
Oh jeez. Be still my fucking heart.
I try and swallow, his words, the sincerity in his voice rocking my world off-balance. “Which part? When the power went out or when Jacob went upstairs to fight a demon?” I joke. But I joke because I’m feeling this a little too much.
“All of it. You know why I call you princess?” he asks, his tone graver than before, like he’s letting me in on a very deep secret.
“Because I’m a spoiled brat?”
“Because you’re beautiful.”
Well that shut me up. The sentence hangs in the air, larger than life.
He clears his throat and goes on and I have to fight against the urge to roll over and face him. “You have this way about you. You don’t see it. But I do. Like you’re born royalty. The way you hold yourself. Your walk. The face of an angel.”
Butterflies take flight in my gut, spreading through my veins until my whole body feels like its floating. “Why are you being so nice to me? Am I going to die?”
He laughs softly. “I don’t know why I’m saying these things. Just seemed like the things to say. You’re destined for something great, Ada, I know this. And it’s an honor to help see you through it.”
His words cascade down on me like ashes from a fire. Where they land, I’m ignited.
Jay thinks I’m beautiful.
And more than that, he believes in me.
Silence settles over us, stealing time. I hear him breathing in the dark, steady as a heartbeat. He might even be sleeping.
