It all led to the same place.
I was going to fuck her.
“What’s that face?” Rebecca asked me, sitting on the couch, facing me like an eager puppy.
“Am I making a face?” I asked, not looking at her.
“Yes.”
We were in my parent’s living room. Spacious, high ceilings, lots of windows to let in the Florida sky.
And comfortable furniture. Lots and lots of comfortable furniture.
A Christmas tree stood in a corner of the room, fully decorated with ornaments from Christmases past that seemed absolutely incongruous with the seventy-degree temperature outside.
“It’s yourall joy is goneface,” she elaborated. “You wore it for years, we’d hoped…well, things were different the last time we saw you, so we had hope that maybe you were deciding instead to choose happiness.”
“That’s not a choice you can make. You either are or you’re not.”
Rebecca shook her head. “That’s not true. You can make decisions. Put yourself in places. And spend time with people who make you happy instead of sad. Like with your family. Or other people.”
“What are you getting at?” Because I sensed she’d been holding this in for the past hour, actually. Since my parents had gone to bed.
“I think you should move here.”
“Move,” I repeated. “Here.” As if she were insane.
“Why not?” Rebecca said. “You have no roots in Texas. You’re only there because that’s where Allison was from. Why not come to Florida? You can work anywhere. One place is as good as the next.”
My jaw dropped. “Allison is in Houston.”
“Allison isburiedin Houston, Grant.”
In a plot her parents had purchased for both of us. I thought it was morbid at the time, but they had this idea that we should all be buried together as a family.
I couldn’t leave Texas.
I couldn’t leave her. Although, suddenly my brain was confused, because I wasn’t entirely sure which her I meant.
“Same difference.”
“Not even a little,” she said quietly. But she leaned back against the couch and away from me as if she sensed I needed space.
“And what about Anna?” I shot back. “You’re suggesting I fire her? Just when she’s gotten her footing?”
Yes, I saw the irony in that statement. That’s exactly what I was planning on doing in a couple of weeks, but my sister didn’t need to know that.
My sister also didn’t know I was seriously thinking about seducing Anna.
Yeah, definitely not going to share that.
“Don’t be obtuse,” Rebecca said, as if what I’d suggested was ridiculous. “Of course you’d bring her with you. She has no ties to Texas either. You two can go wherever you want.”
“We’re not some goddamn couple, Becks,” I snapped. Feeling a bit too defensive. “You need to get that shit out of your head.”
I stood then and shoved my phone in my back pocket. Moving away from her, I fixed on the tree in the corner with its shiny red, green and gold ornaments and Christmas characters.All sparkle and light, as if an ornament could make a person feel a certain way.
Pushing on a particularly impish Christmas fairy, I watched it sway back and forth.
