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“Fuck, Farrah...what are you doing to me? This is so wrong, but I can’t stop.”
“You don’t have to stop.”
He spoke over my skin. “Yes, I fucking do.”
Jace pulled me harder against him as he moved his mouth back up to meet mine. His kiss was rough and hungry. He tasted better than I could have imagined, like sugar and spice. I could feel myself getting wetter by the second. My body had never come alive like this. I prayed he didn’t stop.
When I felt him pulling away, I gripped his shirt and brought him back into me. He devoured my mouth, harder and faster. I lifted my leg to wrap it around his waist in the hopes that he’d scoop me up and take me to his room. That was apparently the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Jace ripped himself away, coming out of the trance he’d been in. “I can’t fucking do this.”
I breathed heavily as I took in the sight of him: the hair I’d mussed up, the lips I’d made red and swollen, the erection I’d caused. Frenzied, my body continued to buzz with excitement.
He rubbed his lips with his fingertips. My mouth watered. I wanted him to kiss me again.
“We can’t let that happen ever again, Farrah. I was way out of line just now. I don’t even know what the fuck came over me.”
“We’re both adults.”
Panting, he looked me in the eyes. “Do you really think Nathan could handle this? Be honest.”
I didn’t think Nathan should react negatively to the idea of Jace and me, but I knew better. I absolutely knew Nathan would never accept it. I’d have to defy him. If he found out, it would ruin his relationship with Jace; one of the only two people Nathan trusted would be gone from his life. Jace was right. I just didn’t know how to erase my feelings, especially now that I knew they were returned...at least on a physical level.
“Okay. I admit he would take it really badly.”
“You saw how he reacted when we were in the pool. We weren’t even doing anything then, and he freaked out on me about it.”
This felt hopeless. I just kept nodding, because there wasn’t anything to argue. This would wreck Nathan. It was still a conundrum for me, though, because I wanted Jace more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life—and that was no exaggeration.
“I understand it would be a nightmare if he found out. But I don’t know how to turn my feelings off. I was crazy about you before I knew you had any interest in me. But now that I know you have feelings, too, I—”
“Just get what you think you know out of your head, okay? Yes, I care about you, and that goes way back. And yes, I’m inappropriately attracted to you now. You’ve grown into a beautiful woman, and I’m a man—I can’t help being drawn to you. But I can help my actions. I need to do what’s best for all of us.”
“So, what does that mean exactly?”
“It means…pretend the mistake I just made under an incredible amount of stress didn’t happen. I got worked up. I was worried about you and stressed, and I came back here so freaking happy to see you, so relieved that you were okay. All you had to do was look at me, and I lost all sense of reality. I had no right to give in to my urges.” His mouth fell to my lips. “The fucked-up thing is... I know how damn wrong it is, but I’m still standing here wanting to fucking do it again, and that scares the shit out of me. Because it has to stop.”
His weakness gave me hope. “You don’t trust yourself...”
“I don’t. You shouldn’t trust me, either.”
“Why shouldn’t I trust you? From what I can see, you’re a hardworking, decent man and one of the few people in this world I actually do trust.”
He pulled on his hair and stared up at the ceiling in frustration. “Even if Nathan weren’t in the equation, Farrah, I’m not right for you. You deserve a guy who’s good at relationships. I’m not. Never have been. And you deserve someone who’s definitely staying in Palm Creek. I don’t see myself here long term.”
“That would change if you felt the right way about someone. I think you’re just trying to make a case, when we both know if it weren’t for Nathan, you’d probably be inside of me right now.”
His eyes widened.
Heck, my words shocked me too. But it was the truth. Jace gritted his teeth and looked down at the ground. I took that to mean he agreed with me.
My gaze wandered down. “You’re still hard. You want me.”
His tone grew harsh. “It doesn’t matter what my dick wants, Farrah. Nothing can happen. Okay? You know it. And I know it. We got a taste of it. Now we just have to forget.”
