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Without a word she turned to leave, intrigued by his strange behaviour.
Hugh had to endure the dinner party with stoic forbearance. The futile talking that went around him did not entertain him. Had it always been like that, or his mood drowned today?
His mind elsewhere. Remorse and frustration conflicted inside him. He regretted manhandling his own maid as if he did nothing more than play the barbarian lord. Furthermore, being denied what he wanted listed among something unusual for him. He must be out of his mind to lust after a woman so distant from his world. Wanting her configured a mistake, hell. Surely, it would be ultimate paradise if he could have her. However, he would not. No. No. No! It stood below him. Undignified. It felt, oh, God, it felt urgent!
There had been matters requiring his attention: tenants, accounting, repairs in his country manor. Also, he needed an heir, for pity’s sake! Nevertheless, since he had set his eyes on Sarah, he could not bring himself to visit his wife’s chambers. He could not stop his body from desiring her. It never happened before! He felt degradingly unable to figure out what went wrong with him.
When the last guest departed at last, Hugh wanted to take refuge in his chambers. Maybe, the oblivion of sleep would do him good. He bid Adelaide good night and climbed up. As he reached the top step, he looked up to the servants’ bedrooms floor. She slept there, on the third room from the left. His housekeeper kept a record of the bedroom distribution and he had peeked at it. Would she let him in if he crept up there? His dark eyes stared up so intently that he had to make a physical effort to stop his feet from following them.
Adelaide did not stand far behind, watching him stuck on the top of the stairs. She wondered what went on.
Sarah lay in her hard mattress cot in the dark and heard the last carriage leave the Victorian mansion. Sometimes, servants were required to work extra hours in case there were balls or dinner. But this time they had no need of that, being this relatively small dinner reception.
Sarah could not sleep anyway, imagining Lord Hawkmore going about, exposed to the other women’s admiration. She had no doubt that he attracted women’s glances, and hungry ones at that. He could surely have any mistress, any affair he wanted. She heard the girls’ gossip about other lords love life. Lord Hawkmore would not be different. The thought made Sarah feel small. Who was she to want a man like that? Of course, he
would never regard her as more than a distraction. A fleeting one. Momentary. Passing. One that would cause the loss of her job, possibly. She could not afford that. She felt unable to stop wanting him anyway. Maybe she should enquire around for another position, one that would not tempt her to lose her body, her soul. Her mind. With that, she turned and fell asleep.
CHAPTER 4
Sarah had just finished cleaning the turret’s top floor, which they never used. Mrs Talcott asked her to come up here and straighten it up. The upstairs servants, busy with the guests’ rooms. Little there: an old table and chair, probably taken there when new ones arrived.
Now she stood in front of the window, enjoying the view of the park. Lost in thoughts, she heard a noise. Startled, she looked back at the door. Almost covering its frame, Lord Hawkmore. The sight of him made her heart vault. He dressed black trousers and white shirt open at the neck, as he usually did when at home. Why did he have to be so impossibly attractive?
She turned in an abrupt movement. “My lord.” She curtsied and kept her eyes on the floor, lest they gave her away.
Hugh came up there in search of a place where he would not be disturbed. Sometimes he took refuge there to get away from his busy household. Today though he had just wanted to look at the park and let his thoughts run free, even if they’d be on the woman standing by the window. Seeing her gave him a bittersweet taste of heaven. He never knew any other servant who appeared so tempting in uniform.
“The view is nice, isn’t it?” His voice came hoarse.
She lifted her eyes slowly in a way that made him feel she touched him. “Y-yes, it is, my lord.”
They stood there eyeing each other in a silence full of electricity. Long seconds went by as time stopped for them.
Sarah’s heart beat so fast that she thought it would jump out of her chest. The air caught in her throat and she flushed. His piercing black eyes fast on her, revolving her insides.
Hugh registered her pink face, her wide eyes, her narrow waist wrapped in the apron. How he wanted to unfasten her apron, her cap, her reserve. He could smell the cleaning soap that came from her, and even this made his groin stir. He stepped inside the room, his shoes resounding on the wooden floor, his hands in his pockets.
Sarah saw him pacing nearer, mesmerized by his jet-black hair falling on his forehead. Her head bent back, her eyes unblinking, her lips parted. He advanced two steps more and she seemed to awaken from somnambulism. “My lord, I’ve just finished, if you’ll excuse me.” She started walking towards the door, but he stood in the way. So she moved to surround him.
He extended his arm to his side, blocking her. “Stay.” A dry command in a hoarse murmur. He heard her gulp in short breaths and his thoughts blurred.
His extended hand touched her waist. She closed her eyes tightly in search of a clear mind, but she only got the smell of him. Alluring.
“Please, stay” He mended.
She snapped her eyes open. He actually asked. His dark eyes never left hers. His arm pulled her closer.
“I am tired.” As he talked, he pulled her nearer. “I am tired of fighting this back.” He bent towards her. His other hand circled the nape of her neck. “This fire is consuming me.” Now their noses were almost touching. “I can’t eat.” His thumb strolled behind her ear. “I can’t sleep.” His eyes lowered to her lips. “I can’t think clearly.”
His hand warm behind her neck. His hot breath mimed the fiery haze that overtook her. Liquid fire dripping in her middle. Her right hand went to his chest on its own volition. Her fingers crept in between the buttons of his shirt.
He reacted tightening his arm around her narrow waist. “Here…” His hand left her nape and unbuttoned four top buttons on his shirt. “Touch me as you like.”
Her eyes slid to his lean, wide chest covered with hair. She moistened her lips and her hand ventured further inside his shirt. She caressed his warm taught skin and revelled in the soft hair that covered it. He closed his eyes and sighed. His mouth descended to her neck. Her head fell back with a sigh and her other hand immersed in his sleek hair. They were completely lost to reality.
Hugh revelled in the smooth skin along her long neck. His hand tore out her cap and her hairpins; they spread randomly on the wooden floor. He lifted his head to look at her shiny sparrow-wing brown hair falling to the small of her back.
“Beautiful!” The arm around her waist lifted her to his eye level and he heard her breath catch. He took possession of her mouth and dived in a ragged paradise. His tongue sought hers and both danced an erotic choreography, the hand on her neck keeping her in place. Her arms circled his neck; her fingers raked his hair.
