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“But my son is not alone, Leah. He sees us both every day.”
“But he feels that he is alone. His father is not here, really—he is always preoccupied. Thad, it feels as if you are somewhere else, somewhere Teddy cannot follow you. He needs you to pay attention to him.”
Thad dragged in a breath. “Yeah. I see.”
He kept silent for some minutes, mulling over her words. Leah was right. Now that she’d laid it out before him, he could see the truth of it.
She touched his shoulder. “The happiest I have seen Teddy was the day he helped you move the sewing cabinet from the barn to the house.”
“So?”
“Perhaps you could let Teddy help you with another task tomorrow?”
“Yeah? What about school?”
She gave a small laugh. “How do you say it…let him ‘play the hook’ tomorrow. Being with his father is more important than one day of school.”
Thad raised himself on one elbow. “You mean ‘play hookey?’ Leah, you are a surprise in a dozen ways.” Without thinking, he leaned over and kissed her.
Too late he realized it was a mistake. It started as a brief brush of his mouth over hers, but almost instantly it changed. She was soft and she smelled good, like soap and some kind of spicy scent. She tasted good. She felt good.
And, God forgive him, he was damn hungry for her.
Chapter Eleven
Her lips were hesitant, but after his first taste, Thad didn’t care. The slight pressure of her mouth against his sent a bolt of pleasure down his backbone and into his groin. Her skin was as smooth as that silk gown she wore every night. Smoother, even. And warm under his hands. He ran his tongue over her bottom lip, and when he heard her sigh against his mouth, his brain exploded.
He kissed her until he was dizzy with shock and with wanting, until he feared he would hurt her with the pressure of his searching mouth. Her arms crept around his neck. Between kisses his breath came in ragged gasps. Oh, Lord, he was drowning. This was like nothing he’d ever experienced before, not even with Hattie.
Thad felt himself tumble into a bottomless chasm of sensation. His eyes burned; his tongue where it touched her mouth tasted honey-sweet. His mind floated up above himself somewhere. And dammit, his groin ached.
Hell’s bells. Kissing Leah took him soaring to places he had never been. Unexpected places. Unforgettable places.
He lifted his head, felt her soft breath against his lips and smiled into the darkness. Aye, she was bonnie, all right.
“Thad,” she whispered. “Don’t stop.”
“Got to stop,” He murmured. “I’m getting short of breath.”
And short of caution. He knew it was too soon, that he would regret it in the morning, and he didn’t want any regrets after their first time. He wanted it to be full of joy.
He would wait. He had to wait. Leah deserved a whole man, not one so torn up inside that his heart was split in two.
“Thad?” She touched his face with her fingers, moved them slowly over his mustache until they rested on his lips.
“Hmmm?”
“Why did you stop kissing me? Did you not like it? Or perhaps I did not do it right?”
He groaned deep in his throat. “Hell, yes, you’re doing it right, Leah. More than right. The problem is me.”
He should roll away, leave her alone.
“You do not want me,” she said quietly.
“Leah…” Heavens above, how could he explain something he didn’t understand himself? He wanted her, all right. Any man with half an eye and a beating heart would want this beautiful, unusual slip of a woman. The truth was he wasn’t sure it was the right time.
He couldn’t let himself take her just because he was a man and she was willing. It had to be more than just physical wanting. It had to be because he was fully committed to her, and, heaven help him, he couldn’t do that yet.
“I think I understand,” she said softly. “It is too soon after your first wife.”
Thad let his breath out with a shaky sigh. “Only part of it is because of Hattie. The rest is because of you.”
“Oh?”
She said nothing else and he smoothed his hand over her hair. “I don’t know how to say this, Leah. I don’t want to be unfair to you. I don’t want to do anything that would hurt you.”
She said nothing. He swallowed hard and went on. “And there’s something else. I don’t think I could stand getting my heart broken again. I can’t risk it yet.”
She was silent so long he wondered if she’d fallen asleep, until he heard her quiet, calm voice near his ear.
“You are a good man, Mr. MacAllister. A very special man. I like you very much.”
