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“I’m independent. Contracted,” he told her, brushing his lips against her ear. “It doesn’t stop here, Sabella. The link to this goes much further than this little county. It’s growing, and it’s a security threat to the nation. I don’t have a choice about where I go from here.”
She nodded jerkily. “So you really won’t be staying?”
She was shaking on the inside. She couldn’t understand how she was managing to stay calm, collected, on the outside.
She felt him behind her then, the question hanging between them, filling the heated air with tension and with regret.
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he finally said. “In my life, touching you, holding you, is the best thing I’ve ever done. But shit happens, baby. And shit blew up in my face a long damned time ago.”
She felt the first tear fall, and made sure it was the last.
She could feel the pain inside her though. It was clawing, vicious, digging out her heart as she fought against the sobs that wanted to tear through her. Her lips trembled, but she held them back. She didn’t know how she held them back.
“I want you safe,” he continued. “From here on out, I want you to stay out of the bars, out of town. Stay where I can keep an eye on you, where I can keep you safe in the event that anyone has managed to suspect why I’m here, or what I’m doing.”
“Something’s going to happen then?”
“Something could happen at any time,” he said. “But this case is moving now. Once it blows to hell and back, I don’t want the fallout at your doorstep.”
She nodded, then froze, her eyes closing tight as his lips took a slow, gentle sip of her bare neck. How could she have not known those lips the first time they touched her, the first time sensation had slammed into her. Only her husband, the man she had given her soul to, could do this to her.
Before Sabella could help herself, she leaned her head to the side, inviting more, needing more. God help her, he was going to leave her again. She should be screaming. Kicking. She should be crying. But the hope wouldn’t still inside her ragged heart.
He had told her this much. He was just waiting, just preparing her for what could happen. Noah wouldn’t actually walk away from her again. Not her Noah. Not the man whose hands were tightening on her now, whose breath was growing ragged, and whose hunger was flaming over her.
Her Noah would never walk out of her life like that. Never by choice. Not her husband.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“Who are you chasing, Noah?”
She asked the question he was hoping she wouldn’t ask.
“You’re as safe as I can make you right now.” He let his lips feather over her jawline. “The less you know, the safer I can keep you.”
“Knowledge is power.” She tilted her head for him, letting his lips and tongue caress the sensitive little path down the side of her neck.
“Not in this case.” He nipped at her neck. “In this case, for you, innocence is your best weapon. And I’ll keep it that way, Sabella.”
He felt her soften then. As though he had given her something she needed. What could it have been other than an assurance that he cared for her, wanted her safe?
God in heaven knew he wanted her safe. He could live without sex. He could living without Sabella in his life. But he couldn’t live without Sabella living. His heart would stop beating. All will to live would flow out of his body.
He had known that before he ever married her. The night he had realized that his heart beat for this one tiny little woman, Nathan had known he would give up the free and easy lifestyle he had held on to for so long, and marry her.
And now, letting go of her again, it would rip his soul out. It would tear him into so many pieces he was certain he would only be a living shell of what he was tonight.
“I missed you in the bed with me.” He pulled the jacket from her shoulders and laid it beside them before caressing her bare shoulders, her arms.
His hands smoothed over the silver armband he had bought her. Damn, she looked good in that. Like a savage princess decked out for a sensual battle.
“This isn’t going to solve anything.” Her voice was weak, filled with hurt and with desire.
That vein of hurt in her voice broke his heart. It tore something in his chest and left him burying his face in her neck, fighting to hold back the pain ravaging him.
And he couldn’t stop touching her. Having her against him, in his arms, he couldn’t help it. It was like an addiction, a craving he couldn’t control. He needed this, needed her. When the time came to walk away, he wanted as many memories as possible to take with him. Enough to help him survive the lost, lonely nights he knew he was going to face.
“You deserve so much more,” he whispered, his hands sliding beneath her blouse, cupping her side, caressing over silken flesh to the heavy weight of her breasts. “A man that’s whole. That’s what you deserve, Sabella. And I’m not whole any longer. I haven’t been in a long time.”
