Her mom and Izzy read the message over her shoulder and both nodded.
The message showed as read within seconds and three dots appeared as Tyler started to type, then stopped, and then resumed again, before they disappeared altogether.
Shoulders sagging, April locked the phone and reached for her ice cream, shoving a large spoonful of raspberry swirl in her mouth. It would probably give her brain-freeze, but at that moment brain-freeze sounded appealing. Anything to make the world slow down again, to become something more recognizable than the surreal mess she’d been dealing with since Friday.
“So,” Izzy said brightly, clearly trying to distract April from thinking about Tyler. “What’s the plan? Are you staying in town for the foreseeable future? Or are you heading back to New York?”
“Well, she has a job,” Emma pointed out and April gently cleared her throat.
“Actually, I’m going to email in my resignation tomorrow.” Looks of surprise met her declaration, except from her mom. Nothing passed Kathy Jones by. “And I don’t really care about the city. I was only really there for Tyler.” April shrugged. “I’ll keep Momcompany, and see where things take me.” She arched a brow at her mom, silently asking if this was OK, and was relieved when she smiled. Plus, there was the matter of the bar to figure out—there was no way she would be letting Luke Pointer get his hands on it. She was sooversharing her things with that man; she’d done it enough all throughout high school. Except Debate—she’d thrashed him soundly for that captaincy.
It was quiet after she finished speaking, her best friends looking at each other in the way that friends sometimes did—no words necessary for them to communicate their thoughts.
“Well, as long as you don’t fall into a rut. I know you do best when you have a routine,” Emma mumbled around a mouthful of ice cream. “We should get coffee together in the mornings, like we used to.”
“That’s a good idea,” Kathy murmured. “It’ll get you out of the house, and you can bring me back treats. Coffee Affair has started doing these really excellent cookies …” Her mom paused and blinked like she was coming out of a daydream. “Plus, I have a few things I’ve been meaning to do that it would be good to have a hand with—like your dad’s workroom desperately needs organizing.”
The thought of going through her dad’s things felt more daunting than revamping the bar, somehow terrible and comforting all at once. The idea of being surrounded by the papers he’d collected and the half-finished projects he’d picked up was so nostalgic it wasalmost hard to breathe, but it also felt like an invasion of privacy. They werehisthings. How was she supposed to know what had value and what didn’t?
Kathy squeezed her hand. “We can take it as slow as you need,” she said quietly and April blinked the dampness from her eyes.
Noah shifted on his feet, drawing their attention. “OK, well, I was going to talk to you about this later, but seeing as it’s come up … I wanted to check in on whether you’d given any more thought to what you might want to do with the bar?”
“Actually, yeah, I had thought about it a bit more. I don’t have any firm ideas yet, but I was thinking …” She took a deep breath, telling herself she just had to take things step by step. “I was thinking it might be helpful to go back and see what the space is like, what we might be able to do with it.” She glanced at her mom and was relieved to see her warm smile of reassurance.
“Oh yeah, if you’re sure you’re ready for that? I wasn’t sure if you’d want to take more time to work up to it and I didn’t want to rush you.”
“Yeah, I reckon the longer I put off visiting, the more daunting it’s going to feel. Maybe we could swing by tomorrow after I get coffee with these two?” April gestured toward Emma and Izzy, who both reached over and squeezed her arms in encouragement.
“That works for me, Bug.” Noah’s eyes were crinkled with a look she knew he reserved just for her, thatbeam of brotherly pride that told her she was doing the right thing, even if it felt terrifying. It made her feel braver somehow.
She could do it, she told herself.
Step by step.
CHAPTER FIVE
Coffee Affair was exactly how she remembered it. It hadn’t changed much since she’d been a teen; only the counter space and the color of the walls had been refreshed in the last couple of years. But the tables, the chairs, the smell of sugar and roasted coffee beans … It was like she’d stepped back in time—especially since Emma and Izzy were waiting for her at their usual table by the window. Iz had been the one to choose it, back when they were twelve, and when April had asked why, more used to their classmates rushing to the back of any given establishment, she’d smiled and said it had the best view of the trees.
There was still a bite in the air that morning, the sky threatening rain, so April had borrowed a pair of her mom’s old overalls and the boots she’d lent her for their rainy walk a day prior, and had thrown a holey sweater over the top to stay warm. It wasn’t the kind of outfit she’d have worn around the house in New York, let alone out and around other people, but it felt good. Natural, even. The overalls were a deep blue-green that kind of matched her hair, thetee she wore under them was an off-white from too many washes, and the thick knitted sweater was pink with specks of green in the yarn. The outfit was surprisingly color-coordinated, if a little rough around the edges and splattered with paint from various DIY projects.
She paid for her drink and made her way over to the small table and window seats opposite the counter and to the right of the door. From the cushioned window seat, Emma pushed out April’s chair with one foot and she murmured her thanks as she dropped into the rickety wood. Maybe it was her imagination, her own mind playing tricks on her, but it felt like people were staring. For most of the town, it was probably their first time seeing her since the funeral. But it was rude to stare, dammit. She caught the eye of old man Colton as he stepped away from the counter with his coffee and her ire faded at the gentle smile on his face. He’d been close with her dad but seeing him didn’t hurt as much as she’d thought it would. More of a throbbing ache than the fresh sting of grief. Proof that she was healing, albeit slowly.
“What have you got?” Emma leaned forward, brushing a few stray springy curls away from her face where they’d attempted to stick to her pink lipgloss. It was Em’s favorite game whenever they were out for—food or drink, she always wanted to try whatever you had.How else will I try new things?she’d said when April and Izzy had teased her about it.
“Iced strawberry matcha.” She didn’t wait for Emma to ask, just passed the cup over for her to have a sip—the look of bliss on her face making April feel smug.
“Be right back,” Emma muttered as she handed April her drink back and made her way to the counter. “That shit isgood.”
Izzy raised a brow and April pushed the cup toward her too, amused when she took the tiniest sip and her eyes popped wide. “I’ve had matcha before but not like this.”
“The sweetness of the strawberry mixes nicely with the creamy matcha.” April finally reclaimed her cup and grinned when Emma sat back down a few moments later with her own iced strawberry matcha. They touched their cups together and sat quietly, each in their own thoughts. Emma had brought a book—a romance, based on the shirtless guy on the cover—and Izzy was writing in her journal, a habit she’d had since they were kids.It’s for mindfulness, twelve-year-old Izzy had explained. She was probably one of the most well-adjusted people April knew, so it had clearly worked for her.
April liked to people-watch. Seeing faces, old and new, walking through town on their way to work or school, maybe to the shops or to one of the fitness classes they sometimes held on the green, watching the trees change and the flowers bloom … That washerkind of mindfulness.
They sat there in silence, companionable without theneed to speak, sipping their drinks until they were gone and the three of them looked up at each other one at a time.
“Same time tomorrow?” Emma said, her voice breaking the spell of calm as April and Izzy nodded. This morning ritual had always left her feeling more centered, and while she’d tried to join in via video chat, it just hadn’t been the same, until eventually she’d let it lapse.
