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"You were the one who wanted to meet," Nik reminded him as he finished his second beer. "I could be in bed sleeping now. So, I'd say that's my question."
"Yeah, but I'm not the one who looks like a train wreck and Kira's not wearing makeup to hide the fact she's been crying," Ian pointed out. Nik glanced back at him.
To look at him, no one would ever know that the former Navy SEAL was the son of a former South American drug cartel leader. Or that he had single-handedly brought his father down.
Ian Richards was one of the few men Nik trusted. He was also one of the few who knew Nik's secrets and the life he lived.
"She wants more than I can give," he stated as he gritted his teeth in frustration.
"She thinks her life is a fucking game and going with me to meet Kefler is a damned walk in the park."
She thought she should be able to love him and that he should be able to love in return. How did a man go about convincing a fairy that fairy tales simply did not exist?
"She's nothing like Tatyiana, Nik."
Nik's fists clenched. He never spoke his deceased wife's name. He never thought it. The guilt of his own absence in their marriage had the power to make him want to cringe in shame and anger, and her name was only a reminder of the fact that his wife and daughter had died because of his neglect of his marriage.
"Mikayla doesn't seem like a woman who would allow you to forget you had a wife. She's proving now that she would insert herself where she feels she belongs," Ian continued.
"Do you think I don't know that?" Nik kept his back to the other man as he finished the beer quickly.
"Then what's the problem? She's a damned fine woman from what I hear. You could do a hell of a lot worse," Nik was advised.
"Who said I was looking?" Nik growled, anger surging inside him. Ian chuckled. "That's when you find it, Nik. When it's the most inconvenient thing that could happen in your life."
"What was so important that you had to come here?" Nik turned back to Ian, careful to keep his expression unemotional, unaffected.
194
Ian's lips quirked into a rueful smile as he stared back at Nik through the darkness.
"Kefler is dangerous," Ian stated. "But for the meet you're requesting, it would be safe enough to take her. What you need to know is some information Kira and I uncovered. He's not just backing certain construction projects; a contact I found says he's out to help someone else break Nelson and take his business over. No one knows who the partner is, but it's someone Kefler thinks he can control." Nik could feel his back teeth grinding in frustration. "Oh, but it's safe enough to take Mikayla to a meet and greet, right?"
Ian inclined his head. "No one's pretending he's a good guy, Nik, but he's a part of a network as well. One that's ensuring her safety."
Nik's eyes narrowed at the lowered tone and the information. That network could mean only one thing: Martin Kefler was a law enforcement informant.
"You know how it works," Ian continued. "He's given the white-glove treatment and certain leeway in exchange for services rendered. That doesn't mean he's not one of the meanest sharks in the pool, but it does mean he can be required to give certain favors."
"And the favor?" Nik growled.
"You need information and the assurance that no one in his little group will strike at your woman. You have that."
He should flat tell Ian now that Mikayla wasn't his. His lips were parting to do just that, but the words wouldn't come.
"I'll take that into consideration," Nik bit off.
Ian nodded slowly. "What are you fighting so hard, Nik? Do you think you don't deserve a life now?"
No, he didn't. He'd failed when it had mattered most. When the only innocence he had known in his life had depended on him, he had failed.
"Let it go, Ian." The rage was beginning to spark inside Nik once again, a rage he remembered from that long-ago night when he had stained his hands with the blood of fellow soldiers and murdered the man who had been the cause of that destruction. Nik had nearly died himself.
He had wanted to die, but he'd lived instead. To suffer? He'd often wondered. Was that why his soul had refused to simply drift away?
Ian breathed out heavily. "No one would begrudge you a little happiness after all these years, especially Nicolette."
Something crashed inside Nik's soul. He swore he felt something splinter in his heart, the pain went so deep.
