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As she stared back at him, the only thing she had left to go to began to formulate in her mind, to solidify. She had held back from the promise she had made to herself when she was younger. She had given up on the only thing that had kept her going until Jordan. And that was something she knew how to do. It was something she didn’t need Jordan to help her with, didn’t need him to be a part of.
She still had the fragment of a dream, the Elite Ops had at least given her the ability to walk away safe.
“Tehya.” The sound of his voice, the regret returning, was tearing her apart.
She didn’t want this. She should have never pushed him, she should have walked out of here and kept the dreams rather than the reality.
Touching him, being touched by him, feeling the first orgasm of her life that she hadn’t given herself, would destroy her now. Because she knew what it could be. She knew what she was losing, and it would haunt her every day of her life.
“I need some time.” She swallowed tightly.
“I can give you time.” He nodded slowly. “But not indefinitely, Tehya. The time will come when we’ll talk about this.”
No, it wouldn’t. When the transportation team arrived to haul away her belongings, she would already be gone. She couldn’t stay here, couldn’t bear to see him, even another moment. If she didn’t leave before morning came, then she would beg. And God knew she didn’t want to beg for a love he couldn’t give her.
“Of course we will.” She crossed her arms over her breasts and turned away from him as she moved to the open kitchen. “We’ll talk.”
They wouldn’t talk, because there was truly nothing for them to talk about.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he stated.
And Tehya nodded. It was another lie. They wouldn’t talk in the morning, he wouldn’t see her in the morning, because she wouldn’t be here.
She didn’t hear him move, she felt him move. She felt him coming closer to her, tensed, knowing that the connection to him would be severed forever once she walked out of the base.
It was just over. There were no more chances to capture his heart.
She had failed. The most important dream she had ever had, and she had failed.
His hands settled on her shoulders, his hold implacable as he turned her until he could pull her against his chest.
“I should have stayed out of your bed,” he whispered as his lips brushed against her hair. “You’re important to me, Tehya.”
Her teeth clenched. She was going to lose it. Tears thickened in her throat, edged at her eyes. The agony racing through her was tearing her apart second by second until her heart felt like a ragged wound in her chest.
“It wouldn’t have changed anything,” she informed him, amazed that she could speak, that she could breathe through the pain. “Just go away, Jordan. I’ll have it all together in the morning and we’ll forget it ever happened.”
She would never forget it. She had thought that if she could force him to admit he wanted her, that she would have a chance at his heart. She had never imagined it would become one night only.
“Tehya.” The grimace that tightened his face broke her heart.
His expression said it all. Dealing with her emotions, dealing with the fact that she had expected more, seemed distasteful to him.
She should have been thankful he had allowed her on the team. She, the daughter of the enemy that had murdered his friend, that had been instrumental in nearly destroying his nephew. She might have killed Sorrel, but she still had his blood. She was still his daughter. And she should have known Jordan would have never been able to love someone so closely related to such an enemy.
“We’ll talk in the morning.” Her voice was thicker. She was so close to crying it was humiliating. In that moment, the emotions that raged through her were hated. She wished she could be hard, cold, that she could feel only that tinge of regret that she didn’t have the emotional capacity to care for anyone outside friendship.
She watched as his head turned, his jaw tightened. Then he gave a brief, hard nod before striding to the door.
“We will discuss this in the morning,” he informed her, then opened the door and left the suite.
And then the tears fell.
The sob that tore from her shocked her. Her knees weakened to the point that she nearly went to the floor as her hands pressed tight and hard into the clenching muscles of her stomach.
The emotional pain hurt worse than a bullet.
She could feel the ragged, gaping hole in her chest where her heart had once been, and the agony of it was a horrible realization.
