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So, yeah, unfortunately, that put a huge roadblock in the way of any future hookups with Officer Craig Bailey.
Henri grabbed the bottle of whiskey he kept on top of his fridge and made his way into the living room with a glass tumbler in hand. As he took a seat, he glanced at the clock on the wall, and when he noticed it was about to turn six, he realized just how boring his life had become.
At home on a Saturday night—how awesome am I? But the problem was that he had no desire to go out. He had no desire to hit up a bar and look for a good time, because his head was full of the R-rated images from the last good time he’d had.
Shit. This was not smart. It was also not part of the plan. Henri had thought that one night with Bailey would be enough to get him out of his system. But no matter what he did, Henri couldn’t seem to erase the sounds Bailey made when Henri had finally gotten inside him.
Henri looked at the phone sitting on the cushion next to him and shook his head. No, he told himself for the millionth time. You had your fun and now it’s over. You do not need to go sniffing around a cop, for fuck’s sake. So he poured himself a drink and picked up the remote sitting on the arm of his chair.
As he flicked through channels, Henri sighed and tossed the remote down beside him, then he took a long swallow of his drink. There was shit-all on the television tonight, and with nothing to do and no one to call, he was reminded once again of just how fucking miserable it was to be so alone in the world.
There’d been a time in his life when he sought out this kind of isolation, when becoming a ghost had been the only means of survival. But now, Henri found this life lacking. He found himself wanting more these days, and was frustrated that he couldn’t have it, because even though Jimmy was gone for good, Victor still lingered like a bad odor, and that made starting over—starting a relationship—harder than Henri had ever imagined.
But then he thought about Priest, and the love he shared with Julien and Robbie, and Henri knew that that was the reason he was so restless these days. He’d seen what kind of life was possible—even for one who had come from a monster like Jimmy—and it had made him start to think about his own life, or more accurately, his lack of one.
But pulling himself out of that world wasn’t as easy as it seemed. Take his involvement with Detective Dick right now, whose relationship with Bailey was still unknown.
Sure, Henri was working with the police in this instance, but it still had him reaching out to people who could get him thrown in jail, or worse—get him dead. In fact, he was due to meet up with an old contact tomorrow in his pursuit to stay on the straight and narrow.
Henri ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. Who was he kidding? He couldn’t have what Priest had. A) He didn’t have a respectable job, and B) He’d done things that he could never tell anyone about.
So while he might be able to start over, start new and stay out of trouble, he was more than aware that he would never be good enough for someone like Bailey.
Henri closed his eyes, took another swig of his drink, and wondered where the hell that thought had come from. He wasn’t usually the kind to feel sorry for himself. But as he sat there, wishing he could call up his cop for another night or two, he realized the main reason he couldn’t was because Bailey deserved someone better than him.
Don’t ask him how he knew that. But in the handful of moments they’d spent with one another, Henri got the distinct impression that Bailey was an all-round good guy.
There was just something about him that seemed so genuine, so sincere. Hell, he’d even been hesitant to jump into a one-night stand. But when he’d finally given in, when he’d finally let himself go, there’d been something so incredibly beautiful about watching him come undone that Henri couldn’t get out of his mind—no matter how hard he tried.
As he sat there thinking about the man with the light blue eyes that somehow managed to warm even his fucked-up soul, Henri looked at his keys over on the side table and thought, One more night couldn’t hurt, right? Then he got to his feet, picked up the keys, and headed out the door.
“HOW YOU DOING with those steaks?” Sean, Bailey’s eldest brother, asked, as he stepped out onto the back deck and walked over to the barbecue, where Bailey was turning the rib eyes for a final time.
