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‘Well, clearly my experience of men is somewhat limited, but if you’d just allow me to—’
‘To do what?’ he cut across her, eyes narrowed in suspicion.
‘Spend time with you?’ Savannah trembled as she clutched on to this last all-too-brittle straw.
Ethan’s laugh was scathing. ‘You must think I make a habit of courting trouble. Out.’ He pointed to the door.
‘Can’t we even have one last drink together?’
‘Gin and tonic?’ he mocked.
‘If you like.’
‘I don’t like. Now, go to bed.’
He closed the door with relief. Leaning back against it, he let out a groan of relief. Mentally, physically, he was in agony. He shouldn’t even be thinking this way about Savannah. And now he knew she was a virgin he had even less excuse—though how to stop erotic images of her flooding his mind was something he had no answer for. He wanted her. Wanted her? He ached for her. The urge to lose himself in her was overwhelming him, but he couldn’t feed on perfection, or drain her innocence to somehow dilute the ugliness inside him.
That was a wound of such long standing he doubted he’d ever be rid of it. It had taken seed in him the day he’d realised his mother had chosen his stepfather over her seven-year-old son, and had germinated on the day she’d seen his bruises in the bath. Instead of questioning them, she had told him she’d take his bike away if he wasn’t more careful. Had she really believed the buckle marks on his back had come from a fall? That bitterness was in full flower by the time he’d been ready to make his own way in the world, and those dark secrets had stayed with him. Would he share a legacy like that with Savannah? Not a chance. She was like a ray of light with her whole life in front of her, and he would do anything to protect her. He would do nothing to stop that little candle throwing its beam around the world.
Pulling away from the door, he thrust his hands through his hair with frustration. He wanted Savannah. He wanted to make love to her. The most important thing to him was that Savannah remembered the first time she made love for the right reasons.
He tensed, hearing her footsteps returning. That sound was shortly followed by a tap on the door. ‘Yes?’
‘Ethan, it’s me.’
‘What do you want?’ He tried to sound gruff. Had she forgotten something? He glanced round the room, already knowing it was a vain hope. He opened the door. She looked like a pale wraith beneath the lights she had insisted on, and they were blazing full in his face. He hardly cared or noticed these days when people turned away from him, but he noticed tonight that Savannah didn’t flinch. ‘What do you want?’ he said wearily.
‘You…’
Her voice was so small he couldn’t be sure he’d heard her correctly.
‘I want you,’ she repeated. ‘I want you, Ethan.’ She held his gaze as she paused, as if she needed to prepare herself for the next step, and then she whispered, ‘Will you make love to me?’
He was already closing the door. ‘Don’t be so silly.’
‘I’m not being silly.’
The door was stuck. And then he realised she put her foot in the way. He wanted to laugh at the sight of Savannah’s tiny foot in his door, but, seeing the expression on her face, he knew this was no time for laughter.
‘Please, can I come in?’ she begged him.
As she looked anxiously up and down the corridor, he knew the answer to that had to be yes. He wouldn’t let her make a fool of herself in front of the servants. ‘All right,’ he agreed, opening the door wide enough for her to slip through. He would soon sort this out. He would tell her it must never happen again and then send her on her way.
But as he closed the door she rounded on him. ‘Ethan, what do I have to do to make you see that I’m a woman?’
Noticing Savannah’s hands were balled with frustration, he reached out. She reached out too. Whether he intended to hold her off or pull her close, he wasn’t sure, he only knew they tangled and collided, and when she closed her eyes he dragged her close and kissed her.
She was trembling like a leaf by the time Ethan pulled away to cup her face and stare into her eyes. This was everything she had ever dreamed of and more. Ethan was everything she had ever dreamed of and more, and his kiss sealed the meeting of two lovers who had to have known each other for longer than one lifetime, and who needed the immediate reassurance of pressing every fragment of their flesh against each other. As she gazed up at Ethan, with all the love she felt for him shining in her eyes, she could have sworn he asked her, ‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes, I’m sure,’ she whispered back.
CHAPTER TEN
HE TASTED heaven when he kissed her. Dipping his head, he kissed her again, deepening the kiss, always acutely conscious that she was so much smaller than he was, and vulnerable—the very thing that held him back.
‘Why did you wait so long?’ she murmured when he released her.
Because keeping her safe had been paramount. Because he had feared the dark forces inside him might express themselves in contemptuous energy. He should have known Savannah’s joyful innocence would defeat them. And now he felt nothing but the desire to cherish her, and to have one night; a night in which he would bring her the ultimate pleasure.
