With a deep breath, Abaddon closes his eyes, clearly struggling to contain himself. “You’re trying to insult me, Messenger.”
Uh, yeah. It seems to be working, too.
“Seriously?” Dusk chuckles again. “You just now figured that out?”
“Just… stop.” Abaddon opens his eyes, his demeanor stone cold, all those little hints of humanity washed out. “You’re spouting dangerous misinformation.”
Dusk, damn him, doesn’t let it go. I swear his eyes even darken as he leans into the table. “We’re the flawed ones, Abaddon. Not the humans. Our existence is limited to their shadow. Their heavy, body-fueled emotions make them appreciate every fleeting moment of their fragile existence. Their ignorance makes them curious, pushing them to seek knowledge and discovery that we sit on and waste. The testing ground of Earth is made to refine them, while we had everything handed to us. Would it beso badto become more like them? Have you learnednothingfrom our new allies?”
I’m pretty sure that’s the polar opposite of how the angels are supposed to think—especially if Michael is the gold fucking standard for the Elohim. And as much as I like Raphael, he is still part of the Council. He could be feigning inattention, preparing to repeat this whole conversation back to the red-winged asshole.
“You shouldn’t say things like that,” I mumble in warning.
But I’m completely ignored. Abaddon glosses right over me, keeping his mask up and his words laced with indifference. I know him better by now, though. There’s no mistaking how he speaks a bit quieter, with less confidence. “We can’t change. These are our preordained roles. We will remain in them indefinitely, or until the Holy Father calls us home.”
“Will we?” Dusk leans in further. “Or are you just too afraid to look for alternatives?”
Abaddon stands up abruptly, sending a jolt of shock through me. His stance is tense, glaring at Dusk with the quiet hatred of an offended god, as if he’s contemplating murder.
I hold my breath, and the rest of the room seems to, too. It becomes deafeningly quiet.
By some miracle, nobody attempts to murder one another.
Abaddon turns, storms off, and busts out the dining hall’s doors. The audience around the table watches him leave, then casually returns to their conversations, as if nothing even happened.
I look at Dusk, making a discreet gesture that says,Why the hell did you do that?
Because I can,he shrugs in response, nonchalantly piercing a broccoliwith his fork and popping it in his mouth.
With a sigh, I stare down at the table. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do in this situation. Maybe it’d be best if I followed Abaddon, tried to talk him down. But then again, part of me doesn’t want to. He shouldn’t have to be coddled?—
“Kae,” Raphael calls softly, grabbing my attention. “Do not fret. Malak has good intentions, however unconventional his methods can be.”
He flashes an unamused look at Dusk, making the angel quietly sink down into his chair like a lectured child. But when his emerald green eyes return to me, they’re just as gentle as his soothing voice.
“Abaddon carries a heavy burden. He aims to harden himself in preparation for Armageddon, but he is misguided. The Destroyer does not need less humanity in him for the battle on the surface—he needsmorehumanity.”
He sighs in disappointment, again reminding me so much of my own father that it gives me a pang of grief. I’ve tried so hard to ignore how much I miss my family. To keep busy. Being cut off from everyone is a yawning black pit of emptiness.
“It doesn’t help that he’s been so isolated this whole time,” I admit.
“He would not have it any other way, unfortunately. It is why I was hoping you’d be able to get through to him.”
Thatsurprises me. And I know I fail to keep it off my face, so I decide to explain, continuing to tell him more than I’d prefer. “I would have thought you were more closely aligned with Michael’s beliefs. That the shepherd should be above the flock.”
“The Will of the Creator is dynamic and ever-changing,” Raphael says with a sad smile. Come to think of it, all of his smiles have a tinge of something heartbreaking. “We see one perspective in Heaven, then we come to find a different one on Earth. He challenges us in that way. Some may rise to the occasion, while others cling to their beliefs.”
“And you, Raphael? What do you believe?”
“I believe it is not the place of a bird to fear the ground,” he replies, and suddenly, a tangible feeling of security and comfort envelops me. Itcomes on strong, settling into my bones, soothing all the aches and pains in an instant. Like a magic balm, of some sort.
“You’re… helping me?” My face tightens in consternation.
“I cannot treat the cause of your headache, but I can make it less noticeable for a while.”
I feel my heart clenching in my chest, twisting in guilt.
There is no possible way this gentle soul is secretly a cruel being. His kindness exists in direct opposition to Michael’s fury. I shouldn’t have heeded Dusk’s warning so easily—it was baseless. A judgment by association, not by facts.
