“It’s a little late for that.” I already know that no amount of questions will be enough. There is no logical explanation for this.
It’s not right.
He ignores me, scowling, and rushes us to the nearest door. He doesn’t use magic to open this one. He simply yanks it open, tugs me inside, and slams it behind me. When I flinch at being handled so roughly, I realize he’s lightened the damper on my emotions. Just barely, but it’s still something.
There’s a wildness in his eyes, gleaming in the brightest shade of silver, as he looks at me. “We’re out of time. The red horse has arrived; the Council is about to announce it. I had no choice.”
Pinned to the door, I spare a glance over his shoulder, quickly assessing what room we’re in—an infirmary, it seems. Unfortunately, the door at my back is the only exit I see.
My eyes flick back to him. “Let go of my goddamn emotions.”
“I can’t,” he hisses. “You’re unhinged right now. We’re about to go in front of dozens of the Elohim. I need you to be calm and follow my lead.”
I’munhinged? “Maybe that’s because you told them we’refucking engaged!”
“Kae. We’re fated to rule the Abyss together. I’ve already accepted that. I have no doubt that you will, too, eventually. And as much as I wanted to wait for that, I can’t. We need to secure our position immediately.”
“But why?” Could there be any sense in this? “Why couldn’t you wait?”
“You wouldn’t understand.” He shakes his head, frustrated. “You’re still young, immature, and not even fully developed. One day, you’ll thank me for this. I am giving you all the power and influence you’ll everneed, right when you need it the most.”
My God… he’s completely serious right now. “I don’t want that kind of power! I never asked for this. Never agreed to it!”
“If you wantanythingfrom the Elohim,thisis how you do it. You may not see it, but I do. I’m sorry, but I’m not giving you a choice. It’s for your own good.”
My panic rises.
“Please, Abaddon,” I humiliate myself, pleading with him. “Call it off. Or tell the Council to keep it a secret, if you have to, and maybe we’ll get there someday. But not like this. Please, don’t do this.”
He draws his wings in tight with a quicksnap, pushing off the door in one abrupt movement. I watch, my heart pounding in my chest, as he begins to pace in erratic, quick strides. His hand flexes and fists, over and over again?—
“Do you really think I’d be doing this if there was a better option?” He whips around toward me, his muscles bound, and stalks in my direction. His irises glow snow white, blazing with fury. “Why can’t you just trust me? I’m helpingyou!”
“I want to, Abaddon, but?—”
A loud crash fills the room. I flinch, instinctively pulling my hands to cover my face, as the noise is quickly followed by something shattering.
By the time I pull my hands away to inspect the damage, seconds later, I’m trembling.
He’s kicked a gurney into a glass cabinet.
I’m unharmed, but I can’t stop violently shaking.
When Abaddon faces me again, breathing heavy through his rage, the glow of his eyes dims. The fury melts off his face. He knows he’s scaring me; he has to.
Within a few short strides, he’s back in front of me, looking apologetic.
It doesn’t matter, because I’m already curling into myself.
Get away. Need to get away.
I don’t want to be here. I don’t feel safe. I can hardly think, hardly breathe.
Gently, he touches the back of his hand to my cheek. I try to pull away, but there’s nowhere else for me to go. Like a raging fire, his presence consumes the room, leaving no oxygen for me. “I’m sorry, my love. You just… You drive me insane sometimes. I have to keep you safe, and I can’t do that if you won’t listen to me.”
I feel the power roll into me this time.
It’s heavy, as if it requires a lot of energy to counteract the intensity of my building panic attack. But it is not peace. It is not a calming blanket. It’s an empty, cold shackle.
