The heaviest of my emotions are crushed by the heaviest deadweight.
The sheer strength of the power floods into my veins like a narcotic, wholly consuming me. Where I was once drugged with morphine, it is now fentanyl. There’s nothing left of me but a hollow, robotic shell.
I roll my neck to look at Abaddon, and he spares me a small glance. There’s a furrow in his brow. I think he’s angry with me, so I just don’t look at him anymore. Problem solved.
I stare at the wall in perpetuity, completely dazed and listless. The room continues to talk about the apocalypse, but I don’t hear them. I don’t care to; nothing matters to me anymore. All that’s left in my head is just… silence.
After quite some time—who knows how long—everyone gets up to leave. I hardly notice. I simply continue to stare at the same spot, lacking a drop of motivation to do anything else.
But then the veil lifts, just a tiny bit, as Abaddon walks over to me. He covertly wipes my mouth with the back of his hand, making me realize I was drooling. How unfortunate.
I’d rather he put the veil back down. There’s a splitting headache on the other side, and I have no desire to face it. I have no desire to do anything, ever again.
“Kae, my love,” he says, leaning on the table as he looks down at me. I blink a few times, frowning, but his face won’t come into focus. “I’m going to give you two minutes to say your goodbyes to the Messenger. I’ll be just out in the hall.”
Goodbyes?
Abaddon walks away, the tap of his boots receding like a pendulum clock.Tok, tok, tok…
Dusk is suddenly sitting in the chair next to me.
“Kae?”
He sounds worried. I think I don’t want that, but I’m not sure. The links in my brain are broken, fried like an egg. I can’t find my memories, feelings, or words. It’s all just mush.
“I’m confused,” I mutter.
I am so very confused. Nothing makes sense right now. Why was I just thinking about fried eggs? Am I hungry? I can’t tell, and I don’t really want to.
“I know,” Dusk whispers, leaning forward. He’s looking me in the eyes, but I’m only somewhat focusing on his face as a whole. It’s blurry, just like everything else. “Are you okay?”
“No,” I mumble.
Shame crosses his face. “For what it’s worth, the nomination wasn’t a request of me. It was an order. They planned this.”
I don’t know why he’s being so quiet, let alone what he’s talking about. Those are certainly a lot of words.
“Oh…” What am I supposed to say? “Okay.”
“I’m so sorry. I know it hurts, but I also know you’ll be okay. You never needed me to be powerful. I just like to think I helped you get there.”
Some still-missing piece of myself whispers, “Don’t go...”
“I’ll come back when I can.” He smiles sadly, taking my hands in his. “You’ll forever be the Dawn to my Dusk—always and never together.”
Something deep inside me hurts over that.
But it’s so far away, hidden in a well of shadows. Just barely, I can hear echoes coming from it, and someone… I think I’m forgetting someone important.
“Jackie,” I whisper. She needs me, maybe. Or do I need her?
I don’t know.Mush.
“Jackie?” His eyebrows push together, making a grumpy face. Imight laugh at it if I were feeling better. Instead, I think I have a very bad fever coming on. “What about her? Is she in danger?”
“Maybe?” I look up at him, hopelessly confused.
The footsteps are coming back.Tok, tok…
