That’s not helpful. “Well, am I still my own person, at least?”
“That depends on how you define your personage.”
I narrow my eyes, becoming very impatient with his dubious responses. He answers, but somehow avoids the entire question at the same time, just like a politician. Maybe all politicians really arefrom the devil…
“What changed in my soul,exactly, when I merged with the star?”
“Now you’re asking the right question.” His arrogance only grows. “But do you truly want me to tell you? If I do, I can only warn you of the repercussions of what would happen if other angels were to know. Clearly, they don’t yet, so you’ll have to decide if it’s worth outing yourself.”
“I do want you to tell me. I need to know.” I refuse to beg, but thankfully, I don’t have to. Azael offers up the truth so willingly, I can hardly believe how easy it is—especially considering how that’s the exactoppositeof his reputation for lies and deceit.
He takes a breath just deep enough, long enough, for me to observe it. “Very few of us have met a soul like yours to be able to recognize its nature. They’re rare; they don’t typically personify as archangels do. The only other one I’ve met chose to do so by creating a new individuality, against its very nature. Somehow, though, you made one meld with yours.”
I stop breathing as everything clicks together inside my head.
“Breathe,” Azael—Azaelreminds me.
That surprises me enough to enter a new state of shock, looking at him in some admixture of horror and awe.
“No,” I insist. He doesn’t have to say it. I’m almost certain I know what he’s talking about. “You have to be mistaken. I just borrowed its powers. I didn’tbecomeit.”
“Not powers, Kaelene.Power. It’s a type of angel in the Second Sphere. A force of nature, bigger and stronger than the rest of us inhabiting this planet. Just abstract enough to desire an individual to represent it?—”
“No!” I shake my head furiously, but he doesn’t let up.
“It’s quite interesting, really. Since you were born a human, would we still outrank you? Or do you outrank us now?” The corner of his lip tilts up. “No wonder Kesbeel wanted to tell me about you. He just conveniently left out the most important part.”
“What—theKesbeel?” The one who created the Elohim and Adonai realms with a simple oath? I didn’t think he was still around, let alonespeaking to anyone. Holy fuck. This just keeps getting worse. “He knows who I am?”
“Calling Kesbeel a ‘he’ is one of the biggest stretches that Elohim has ever normalized. To put it simply, his personification is much more… inhuman. Minimally functioning.” His eyes skim over me. “Though, with how animalistic you were acting a moment ago, I’d say you’re equally volatile.”
I ignore the jab. “What did he say about me?”
“Nothing you should be concerned about.” Azael glances toward the doors of the van. “We don’t have much time left. I need to turn you back over to your masters.”
“You’re letting me go?”
“In a moment, yes.” Azael nods towards my restraints, which collapse into ash the moment he looks at them. “I suppose I’ll let you keepTumultuari,since it doesn’t seem to appreciate me as its owner anymore. Consider it a token of goodwill. If you’re feeling generous, you can return the favor by not telling anyone what we talked about.”
The dagger appears out of thin air in his hand, and he holds it out to me. Moderately worried it’s some sort of trick, I hesitate, then tenderly grasp the handle.
The hum of energy that floods into me feels exactly the same as it always has—familiar, almost even comforting.
When I meet Azael’s eyes, green and blue and all the colors of the Earth itself, I find nothing malicious in them, either. I’m so confused. Am I supposed to stab him? “You realize you’re handing me a celestial weapon capable of killing you, right?”
“Unless your Power equipped you with thousands of years of combat instinct, I’d say you still have a long way to go before you can land a scratch on me.” He pulls back, appraising me. “Besides, you don’t want to kill me. Not yet, at least.”
“What do?—”
Everythinggoes black.
I’m lying in the middle of the desert, my cloak sparing me from the scorching midday sun. Very considerate of my kidnapper, keeping my pale, cave-dweller skin from burning…
The first thing I hear is the call of a raven, shortly followed by the rustle of much larger wings. I want to pretend I’m asleep, just so I don’t have to face them, but I know it wouldn’t work. I can tell by the boots, visible in the crack of my hood, which two angels have come to collect me.
“I’d like to go home now,” I mumble to myself, almost subconsciously. “Back to North Carolina.”
“I’m afraid that’s not an option,” Abaddon’s voice rumbles from above me.
