They all accept like moths to a flame.
Amezarak, my faithful second, ventures up my hill at the head of the group. He clears his raspy throat, shaping a slight bow before me. “Master, seeing you suffer pains me beyond all measure. But it is clear that the Almighty’s binding power far surpasses my abilities. I have let you down.”
A flicker of emotion threatens me with its impending return. “Do not measure yourself by the shortcomings you were designed to have. It is impossible to release me; therefore, I must be killed.”
A somber silence transfixes my small audience. They know it would be a mercy to me. Even now, the numbness I shroud myself in is close to abandoning me.
But my death is not without risk.
The higher the angel, the harder the fall.
“You have never died before,” Amezarak says slowly, with caution. “Even if we were capable of killing you, we cannot know how long it’d take for you to regenerate. It could be weeks, or it could be centuries.”
“Nobody has ever tried before, but that does not make it impossible. It may take every one of you, and it may use everything you have to give, but itwillwork. If you have any faith in me—” I pause, trying to steady myself. Fire licks every fiber of my being, pushing deeper and deeper into my emotional armor. “You will end my suffering now, so that I may be free another day.”
Amezarak takes one look at the rest of my followers, whose faces remain stony and resolute, before he bows his head in understanding. “You have our complete faith.”
I’m out of time.
“Our very souls are fuel.”Pain, fire, burning—“You only need to detonate it.”
1
KAE
Iam a ghost of myself, wasting my life away.
Of all the things that could have kept me from finishing my bachelor’s degree on time, I never expected relentlessnightmaresto rob me of my final semester. Yet, here I am. Stuck on medical leave, waiting to see how long it takes to die from chronic insomnia. It’s amazing I haven’t descended into full-blown psychosis?—
Someone snaps their fingers in my face.
“Hmm?” I blink. The ambiance of the party seeps back into my perception. Lights low, music loud, too many drunken voices melding together.
And the judgmental fucking stares of three girls I’ve known since high school.
“Jesus, Kae.” The blonde finger-snapper rolls her eyes. “You’re acting like a complete zombie. Did you pop an Ambien before we got here or something?”
“Maybe that’s why she dropped out,” the second girl mutters to the third, as if she thinks I can’t hear her. “Drug problems, you know?”
My eyes narrow at her. At all three of them. We haven’t even been at this party for ten minutes, and they’re already being so catty? I do not have the energy for this. “Do any of you know where Jackie went?”
“Nope. Maybe she was thirsty.”
They all snicker, their voices running together. “Yeah, she’s definitely thirsty for something, alright. Did you see the outfit she had on? I’m telling you, she should just get an OnlyFans already. I bet she’d makesomuch money…”
I massage my temples, trying to remember why I still putup with them. Am I so bad at making new friends that they’ve become my only option, or am I just a miserable creature of habit? I swear, they weren’t anywhere near this insufferable on last year’s girls’ trip.
“…I’d literally kill for her genetics. It’s not even fair?—”
“If you knew her parents,” I interrupt, “you probably wouldn’t be saying that.”
I’ll admit, Jackie’s Native American and East Asian heritage does give her the silkiest black hair, sun-kissed skin, and an hourglass figure. But her sperm donor is a complete piece of shit, and her mom could be a lot less absent.
“Okay, buzzkill.” Finger-snapper scans her eyes over me, her foul attitude poorly hidden behind the plastic cup she sips from. “Just because you stopped caring about appearances doesn’t mean you’re better than everyone else. Some of us actually want to get laid.”
Gee, I’m sorry I’ve barely slept for several months, and my body is breaking down,I want to tell her. But that would require giving them a touch of vulnerability, and clearly, they’ve become too cruel to handle such a thing. What an awakening experience this has been.
“…I’m going to go make sure Jackie’s okay.”
