“I’m not sure, really.” I take a breath to steady myself. I have such a sinking, ominous feeling inside me that I might be doing something wrong here. I feel like I’m betraying my own kind. It wasmyspecies they were attacking.Myspecies that I couldn’t save. It felt universal, not targeted. If I was afraid, it was for them, not myself. “I think I felt bad for the people more than anything. They didn’t seem to deserve it.”
Abaddon readjusts his hands in his lap. I can’t tell if it’s just an awkward movement or if he could be nervous about something. “Your human heart is merciful.”
“Thanks…?” Per usual, I can’t tell if he means that as a compliment or an insult.
He shakes his head in answer. “Judgment Day will not be.”
A moment of silence passes. The dream flashes through my mind again, sending a chill up my spine. Those screaming, suffering humans?—
“But you would do well to hang onto that mercy.”
“Oh?”
He nods. “I suppose that’s why a human was given the keys to the Abyss.”
“You’re…” I stare at him, taken aback. “You’re full of surprises, Abaddon.”
His gaze slips down to the strap of my shirt, pausing on my chest. Embarrassment flares inside me as I suddenly remember how my shirt outlines the full shape of my breasts, the peaks still hardened from the chill I felt moments ago.
But when his eyes come back to my face, I can feel the heat in them.
Or maybe that’s just my violently burning cheeks.
“As are you, Kae,” he replies lowly. An uncanny flood of complex, strong emotions barrels through me, all at once. Loneliness, longing, and… lust.
Hisemotions.
For me.
Like a shot of alcohol, the realization warms my system, settling low inside me.
The foreign emotions are gone in a heartbeat, as if the slip was completely unintentional, but its damage is done. If the darkness swimming in his heated gaze wasn’t an indication enough, then that deluge was nothing less than pure confirmation.
My breath shudders out of me.
Damn these painfully attractive angels and their intimacy issues!
The world is coming to an end. If I’m going down with it, I’d like to go down fucking and fighting. Namely fucking. I’m half inclined to see if I can tempt him to join me under the sheets, since we’re already so poorly dressed?—
Abaddon jumps up, nostrils flared, eyes widened.
He seems to have realized his mistake.
“Rest,” he commands with flat authoritativeness. “I’ll arrive at the training yard at high noon tomorrow. Have your physical conditioning for the day done by then.”
Before I have time to say anything, he turns and storms out of the room.
Left bewildered and full of conflicting emotions, I collapse onto my back, blinking up at the ceiling. For a moment, I consider calling him back, but common sense stops me.
Even if he feels that way about me, it doesn’t mean he’d be willing to act on any of it. Maybe if I got on my knees and begged, he’d be willing to satiate my womanly needs. Which… could potentially be worth it. Maybe, though, he wouldn’t need quite so much desperation to be convinced. What if I had simply asked him to crawl into bed with me?
What would it be like to trace my hands across his abs, his chest, his broad shoulders? To bite his neck like I so desperately wanted to do today? Would he be gentle, or would he bite me back? Throw me around like a ragdoll?
Without allowing myself todarethink about what I’m doing, I slip my hand into the waistband of my shorts, desperate to relieve myself of this tension.
Every wicked fantasy about him floods into my mind, and I let myself get off to it.
20
