‘Morning,’ she says cheerfully and I’m glad to hear it, if I’m honest. She’s sounded down the last couple of times we’ve spoken, even if she won’t openly admit things are hard right now.
‘Morning,’ I whisper back and she immediately laughs. ‘What?’
‘I thought the day would never come. Whose place are you calling from this early in the morning that has you whispering to your big sis?’
Oh, brilliant.I don’t know who she thinks I am, but she can’t for a second imagine I’m hiding in the bathroom of a hook-up, can she?
‘Christ, El. Get your head out of the gutter. I just need some medical advice. About food poisoning.’
‘Are you not well?’
‘No, it’s not me.’
‘So, who? Gotta know the patient before I can tell you the fix.’ I roll my eyes because it’s not like I’m asking her to diagnose a dramatic condition. I just want to check I’ve done everything I need to.
‘Elise…’
‘Kian, humour your big sister, please. You never have fun stories to tell me.’
Yeah, because looking after a vomiting rookie has been so much fun.
‘Sounds like Harper ate a bad burrito and spent half the night chucking up his guts. He was running a fever but is starting to cool down now. I hydrated him before he slept and tried to keep him cool. Just need to know anything else I can do.’
‘Oooooh, I can’t believe you’re looking after Harper James right now. Like, I swear, all I’ve heard from you nonstop is what a pain in the ass he is.’
‘He was sick, El. What should I have done? Just abandoned him?’ That shuts her up because there isn’t a world in which she would tell me to leave someone to look after themselves when they weren’t doing great. ‘Is there anything more I can do for him?’
‘Make sure when he wakes up that he takes a painkiller of his choice. He’ll probably have a sore throat from being sick and a raging headache from being dehydrated, even if you’ve given him water. Also, he needs to eat something today – small and often is key – as his stomach will be empty.’
I wasn’t planning on leaving straight away, but I also didn’t plan to be here when he woke up. Yet now I have no choice. Elise would be disappointed if I left him in his hour of need.
‘Sure. I can do all of that. I’ll get him some room service or something when he wakes up.’ If I get them to leave it at the door, they won’t even need to know I’m in here. I could just pretend to be Harper on the phone.
‘You’re a good guy, Kian, taking care of him when he’s been nothing but a dick to you.’
Talking about taking care of people… ‘How is everything at home?’ I say, I ask every day, but it still doesn’t feel like enough.
‘We’re good. Kids are tucked up in bed and Grant’s here for another day as a conference he was meant to be speaking at was cancelled. Mum’s been in her chair today – I gave her breakfast in it and everything. She remembered how much she loves cornflakes, so Grant’s been out and bought several boxes.’ Elise sounds pleased – vibrant, even – that Mum’s had a good day. It’s so good to hear right now.
Yet pinpricks sting my eyes and I have to control my breath out, completely hollowing my cheeks, to stop myself from crying about these moments I may never get to see first-hand again. And the guilt. The guilt that El’s doing it all…
‘I’m glad, Els,’ I croak out, my throat feeling dry as I swallow down another round of fresh tears. ‘Give everyone a big kiss from me, especially Mum. Tell her I love her so much.’
‘I will, every day, Ki. She knows you do.’
I’m not sure Mum does know. Neither me nor Elise can be sure. She may never know again how much her son loves her – or even that she has a son. God! I can’t cry in the same room as Harper. If he wakes up right now, he’ll never let me forget it, and who knows who else he’ll tell. Johannes, probably.
So, after we say our goodbyes, I busy myself with the mess that is Harper’s room. There’s nothing like tidying and organising to help me feel in control.
The hotel provides a laundry bag in every room and whilst I make the most of it when I’m on the road, it doesn’t look like Harper does. There are little mounds of worn clothes all over his floor, plus the clothes he vomited in which I left in the bathroom. I gather them all up in the bag, fill out the form for the express twenty-four-hour turn-around and pop them outside his door for collection.
It’s yet another thing Harper won’t appreciate, but there’s nothing worse than being unwell and being in a messy room. Or having to put dirty clothes on.
A little nap won’t hurt either of us. We’re heading towards mid-morning now and the curtains aren’t doing enough to stop the light streaming in. I close the windows and put the AC on – the smell has finally gone and the heat will soon become unbearable. I wedge the curtains tightly closed around the edges using Harper’s discarded shoes to hold them in place. The darkness is a relief, and the AC starts to take the edge off the warmth that’s been building.
I’m not prepared to do my back in my trying to sleep in one of the armchairs – I’m too old and my body is too important to my career. I tell myself that if I stick to the very right-hand side of the bed, this won’t be weird. I peel off my T-shirt and slide into the bed – on top of the sheet I gave him, obviously – and let my head hit the pillow.
It’s a relief when I finally close my eyes, the jetlag making my brain feel groggy. A couple more hours’ sleep will make me feel more like myself – this day has already been like an out-of-body experience. I set an alarm, because I’m due to meet the media team to film some bits for the Hendersohm TikTok later this afternoon.
