It’s all new to him, this relationship business. He’s not said it in so many words, but I think I’m the only person outside of Johannes that he’s been with more than once. I’m trying not to pressure him. I figure we just need to take it one day at a time for now, but I can see, in the not-so-distant future, that we’ll have to talk about it.
I’m sure it’s going to go as well as pulling teeth, but I don’t want to be a casual-sex partner forever. If I do decide to retire at the end of the season, I don’t just want to be thrown away because it will no longer be convenient and easy. If this is my last season, I won’t be his teammate anymore, travelling the world with him and keeping his bed warm.
As I step down from the podium in the Netherlands, I look to my left and see Harper doing the same from where he’s been keeping third-place warm. He shoots me the most scandalous look I’ve ever seen. His eyes are all heat, as if he wants to drop to his knees right now and reward me for yet another first-place finish. I’m glad my racing suit and the layers of fire protection I’ve got on will disguise my growing erection.
I still look around, scanning the bank of flashing cameras, hoping that none of them caught that look being sent my way or interpreted its meaning.
We’ve done such a good job of keeping this just between the two of us so far, and I don’t want to screw it up now. I don’t want to scare him off. I don’t want to rock the boat at Hendersohm. And I don’t want any distractions from the media that get in the way of our performance on the track.
The comments, I’m sure, would be either incredibly homophobic or would accuse us of cheating by employing team tactics that disadvantaged other drivers. In either case it would be absolute bollocks, but we’d spend hours denying it and the sponsors wouldn’t like it. Little do they know, our sexual chemistry thrives on us being competitive. There’s no world in which I would give up a podium position to help Harper win, and I know he feels the same.
‘Good job, yet again, Walker,’ Harper says in a hushed tone. It’s a perfectly tame comment that doesn’t need to be whispered. To everyone who likes to write about us it’ll look like teammates congratulating each other, but I know there’s a different kind of praise behind those words. Praise and a promise.
We’ll get back to the motorhome and draw the blinds in every room. Before we’ve even showered, he’ll sink to his knees and show me just how proud he is of my win.
Great.Now I’m definitely fighting a boner.
I need to distract myself or there’ll be no hiding it and then we really will have a sex scandal on our hands. Journalists aren’t stupid and they love to put two and two together and come up with five – except this time it would be four and we’d either have to lie and deny it or go public with our rel?—
With whatever we are.
‘Not too bad from you either, James. Any chance of you breaking second any time soon, though?’
‘And take the shine off you, golden boy? Hardly. But don’t worry, I’ll take youdown. Can’t beon topforever.’
If his tone doesn’t give him away then his cheeky smirk will.
I start planning exactly what I’m going to do to him when we’re back in the confines of the motorhome, with no eyes or microphones on us.
Except first of all, we have to do the press call. Deep breaths. Nails down a chalkboard. Buckets of vomit. Rats in a bag. Car accidents and serial killers. ARGH!
It’s not perfect, but it’s helping.
‘Kian, how does it feel to take home three first-place finishes in a row?’ the first journalist asks. She’s got a microphone outstretched on a long stick, and there’s a camera man moving behind her to get the best shot. I’m not even sure who she works for.
‘Incredible, absolutely incredible. Of course, this is every driver’s dream to be on top of the podium and defending my title, but I treat every circuit like a completely new start and never take any win for granted.’
‘I’m sure, especially in your final season?’
I smile tightly as I reply. ‘I’ll let you know when I get to my final season.’ It’s a diplomatic answer and she laughs, and that’s enough for me to move down the row to the next.
‘You’re having an incredible season, Kian,’ the next guy comments. He’s got a handheld recorder reached out over the barrier to capture my answer to whatever he’s about to say next. ‘Some would say your best one yet. What would you say is contributing to that?’
Harper.
His name almost rolls off my tongue and I have to work really hard to keep my thoughts in line.
The journalist clears his throat, prompting me, a single brow raised as if trying to figure out what’s taking me so long to answer. Apart from the handful of bad interviews at the start of the season, I have a good track record of being pretty slick when it comes to the media. Mostly because I’ve been used to it my whole life, I reckon.
When Mum was at the height of her fame, we couldn’t leave the house on our own. We were escorted to school, to friends’ birthday parties, to clubs and activities – anywhere, really. There were reporters at the end of our drive, outside the gates, hounding us from such a young age, desperate for Chastity Walker’s kids to say or do something silly.
I’m so zoned out that the journalist has repeated the question and I finally find my voice again. ‘Sorry man, apparently the high of the win has gone to my head. Must be some kind of extra altitude on top of that podium, eh?’
I’m sure he’ll run with some quote about me being on top of the world or even being cocky about winning again. I don’t care.
‘I’d just have to say it’s experience now. I’ve been doing this for well over a decade, and at Hendersohm we work like a family. We’re a well-oiled machine and we’ve got some incredible guys in the garage making sure these cars are perfection for us. The team’s nailed it this season. Paired with good driving and weather conditions … I’m hopeful it can continue for the rest of the season.’
‘A lot of changes for Hendersohm this season, though. At the start you seemed a bit shaken both on and off the track by Elijah Gutaga’s injury and the subsequent arrival of Harper James.’ Here we go again.‘How do you think Harper is getting on? It’s his rookie season and he’s making quite the splash. Has his presence had any effect on your performance?’
