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“You invited him here?”
“He knows about us and about who you are. It was blackmail, but I figured if I complied, he’d just troll for women and gloat over all the people with how much he could win in the silent auction. I had no idea that he’d… Jesus Christ, I’d never imagine Seamus would do that.”
I swallowed hard and slipped my mask back on from where it had fallen to the floor. Hopefully we’d been lucky so far that no paparazzi had caught anything. I didn’t need them to get a stray picture of me where my face was clear. “I’m going to my apartment. I need time to think. I get that you think you can protect me by not telling me things, that you want to shoulder those burdens. I get that might even be noble in your mind, but we have to talk to each other. I’m not some kid, and you can’t just rule my life. I…” I broke off then and shook my head. It felt like the only thing then that could chase my tears away. “Never mind. I have to get home.”
With that, I brushed past him and headed for the exits.
I couldn’t understand his betrayal, and whatever pretty lies he fed me about placating Seamus to save our secret wasn’t going to help. Not on that balcony, not when everything was so fresh on my mind.
Maybe not ever.
Chapter Twelve
Iris
Allison left me a note on the kitchen table. She was out again with Goth Guy, and part of me was happy for my friend even through my sadness. This Goth Guy thing had been going on for a few weeks now, and she seemed to really like the guy, even if she hadn’t brought him around to the apartment much. Part of me was crushed she wasn’t around, as I could have used a friend to talk to, but then again, I wasn’t sure I had the strength to relive out loud Seamus’s assault and how scared I was. How badly it could have gone.
My shoulders shook, and I hurried to the bathroom to take a scolding hot shower. Okay, it wasn’t literally that hot, but I kept the heat up as high as I dared. I felt so filthy, so desolate; I needed the heat to take it all away. Gathering up my loofah and some soap, I scrubbed myself as well. I ran the sponge over me until my water finally went cold. Shivering, I turned it off and grabbed my fluffiest bathrobe and was soon curled in on my side in my bed. Tears fell from my eyes, but I didn’t make a sound.
If I cried out loud, it’d make it too damn real.
I laid like that for what felt like hours and was almost asleep when I heard a knock on the door. At first, I thought it might be Allison, especially if she’d forgotten her key. She sometimes did that; the girl was a bit absentminded. Then again, as I walked to the front door, I expected to hear a lot more cursing and drunken kicking at the door frame. Again, Ally had left her key in random places and clubs and pubs more than once.
Suspicious, I peeked through the keyhole and then sighed. It was Callum.
“I thought I made it clear that I needed to be alone.”
Through the keyhole, I watched as he held up his hands, palms flat to me. “I’m sorry. I just needed to talk. I couldn’t leave things like they were.”
I hesitated then with my hand on the lock, but the raw pain in his eyes was enough to make me finish unlocking everything. He was as worried for me as I was for myself. I knew he hadn’t meant for anything to happen tonight, but that didn’t change what had gone down. It didn’t make me feel safer. But if Callum wanted a few more minutes to talk, then I could accommodate that.
Maybe I needed more solace than I’d left to either of us earlier this evening.
I eased the door open slowly and then shut it behind him. My hand twisted the lock automatically; it was dumb. It wasn’t like Seamus was lurking in every corner. It just felt better being locked in my fortress. Maybe it would help for a while.
“You should have told me,” I began.
“I was trying to…”
“Not tell me anything just like you didn’t mention the ball.” I slid down onto the sofa and put my hands in my lap. “If we’re going to be a real couple and not just a fling, then you have to trust me. You have to trust me to protect myself, and you have to trust me not to break when you tell me bad news.”
“But it would have scared you. Bloody hell, having that arse Seamus skulking around scared me. I just wanted to protect you.”
“You can’t protect me with lies, Cal. No one can do that.”
He looked away, his blue eyes downcast. “I know that now.” Callum sat down beside me on the couch and slowly placed his left hand over mine in my lap. “I care so much about you.”
“I know,” I said, even though my throat felt clogged as I said it. Until then, I wasn’t sure if he felt a fraction of what I felt for him. After the foundation gala lies, I wasn’t sure of anything. “But if you care about me…if you feel about me the way you once felt about Priscilla, even a bit, then you have to trust me. You wouldn’t have shut her out.”
“No, never.”
“Then why would you do that to me?”
He sighed. “You won’t like my answer.”
“At least you can give me an honest one.” He looked at me again, fully in the face, and I almost lost myself in the depths of his gaze. Almost. But I needed my answer. “Please, you owe me that much.”
“You’re young, luv, and I need to protect you. I just didn’t think you could handle it.”
