Clancy and Merlin would never scold Nox in front of anyone, especially if he had made a serious mistake. Neither favored humiliation or fear as teaching aids and both believed that harder messages were best received in private.
“I already delivered part one of my apology to Nelson,” Nox said as he held the door for Merlin. “I plan to spend the rest of the day groveling after he gets back.”
“Good.” Merlin made a pleased sound as he went to the sink, reaching to give Scurry a pet. She had stretched out along thewindowsill to take a nap in the sun. “You take his patience for granted.”
“I do,” Nox agreed readily and went to his stool at the work table. It had been his since he was tall enough to climb onto it and he felt like a child again as he watched Merlin, rinsing the tea pot and measuring his words. “I owe you and Clancy apologies too. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all last night. I didn’t want to worry about it and I really didn’t want you all to worry if it could have waited until morning.”
“Clancy and I are accustomed to your fuckery and we understand that we had a hand in creating this monster,” he said, smiling at Nox as he took the kettle to the stove. “We aren’t going anywhere. Neither is Nelson.”
“I know, but…” Nox groaned as he slouched. “I’ve already put him through so much. You and Clancy have hadagesto accept your fate but Nelson had to learn everything in a hurry. And it’s so hard to find time to be anormalcouple and just be together without Dùbhghlas and this grudge of his interfering.”
Merlin sighed sympathetically from the stove. “As much as I loathe to agree with a demon, it might be easier if you learn to embrace your godly nature. So many of your problems are rooted in your stubbornness. It’s always been this way with you, my boy. You attach yourself to one notion and cling to it stubbornly, at all costs, even if a simpler solution becomes available.”
“But I don’t want to be a god! What does that even involve these days?” Nox tried to envision it but temples, and togas, and sacrifices seemed so silly and like an utter waste of time and resources.
“No, I’m not telling you to become a god,” Merlin stated clearly and jumped when the kettle started to whistle. He laughed as he took it off and went to fill the pot. “Not completely, at least.”
“Can one decide how much of a god they want to be?” Nox mused out loud while they waited for the tea to steep. “I wouldn’t mind if my lower half was godly, if you know what I mean,” he said with a wiggle of his brows.
“You have enough fun with the lower half of your body,” Merlin replied. “We are writing a new chapter of mythology here so there is no way of knowing for certain. But I sincerely believe that you would have less trouble if you didn’t fight so hard to hold onto something that isn’t there. You are not a human anymore, Nox. You are a new hybrid of man and god and some days, you will be more god than man. Stop fighting it and learn tocontrol it.”
“Control it?” Could he? Nox had spent so much time suppressing the strange urges and bursts of energy until hehad touse them to defend himself or others. What if he didn’t and practiced—the way he had with fire and water? “What if I can’t and it consumes me?”
He could play with the elements and soothe someone’s aura, but to dobigthings that impacted real people scared the hell out of Nox. Creating storms, tampering with time, dictating thoughts, ending lives… That kind of power was seductive and Nox didn’t think thatanyoneshould have it.
“Do you suppose thatthatis why you have your Uaithne?1?” Merlin asked as he joined Nox at the work table.
“Obviously,” Nox said. “He’s always been my connection to the Otherworld and he keeps me anchored here, to this body.”
Merlin squinted, considering. “Do you believe that is all he is?”
“What do you mean?”
“He is your gateway to the Otherworld and he keeps your soul anchored to that body, but I think his soulbalancesyours as well. It’s so perfectly pure in its humanity and he defines humility and humbleness. Gods are seldom virtuous or humbleand you are certainly no exception, but you have been given a mate who embodies all the virtues you lack. Do you think that is by accident, or the specific purpose of the Uaithne?”
“Oh.” Nox sat up straight, surprised by how logical and obvious that was. “He’s my counterbalance. We’re opposites in nearly every way but we’ve always worked better together.”
“Harmoniously! Designed to complement each other, one might say…” Merlin looked pleased as he slid an empty cup and saucer towards Nox.
“That, unfortunately, means that I was meant to test him,” he sighed, getting a chuckle out of Merlin.
“I think he enjoys it. He also sees it as his duty to protect and serve you. Allow him to and allow yourself to simplybeinstead of fighting to hold onto something that doesn’t exist anymore.”
Nox grimaced at the pot. “I’ll try but I hate that he sees it as his duty. I wish he’d chosen this and it wasn’t because of fate or destiny.”
“Nonsense!” Merlin swatted the back of Nox’s hand, making him gasp. “Of your three, the Uaithne has always had the most free will. Hemustand it must align with his role or it would make him…unfit to be an Uaithne. That’s why we went so long without one. The Uaithne cannot resent his duty or desire anything more than service or he is not suitable for the role. Itmust behis will to serve you.”
“Maybe… Does that mean he’s happy, though?”
Merlin cast him a pointed look. “I believeyouwould know how happy he is better than anyone.”
“Sure, I can feel when Nelson’s happy and he usually is, except for when I’m tap dancing on his nerves. But is he happy in the general, overall sense? Is he happy that this is his life? Can he ever truly be happy if it’s his duty?”
A severe frown furrowed Merlin’s brow. “Serving your family has been my sacred duty for longer than I will admitandit hasbeen the greatest pleasure of my life. Even when you are being an absolute pill. My service has given me joy and a higher sense of purpose, and for that, I have been grateful. I would never want to deprive Nelson of that much happiness, would you?”
Nox sniffed hard, shaking his head. His nose was running and his eyes were stinging. “No, I wouldn’t but why did you have to make me cry?”
“Clancy feels the same way but he’s had to make personal sacrifices. He gave up time with his family out of his sense of duty. Thankfully, you and Nelson don’t have to worry about that.”
