Nelson prayed it wouldn’t take too long for Nox and their friends to find him. He had weeks’ worth of stories in his headand a solid routine to help pass the time but they wouldn’t do him very much good if he didn’t get some watersoon.
Chapter Ten
Surely, he would feelsomethingif Nelson was dead. Nox kept telling himself that he would know.
Smoak, on the other hand, had nothing to report after returning from another scouting mission. “I’ve questioned everyone I could find and no one has seen or hearda thing.”
“How is that possible?” Nox shouted as he spun and looked around the study. His friends stared back at him with raw, blurry, worried eyes—their fears as vibrant as his.
“I’m sorry,” Smoak said softly, bowing his head from his spot in the corner. “I’ve ordered my children to search any place that’s ever been tied to Dùbhghlas but he’s…vanished and taken his entire operation with him.”
Nox hurled the book he was holding over Merlin’s head and through the study doors, sending it spinning into the foyer.“You’re sorry!”he screamed at Smoak and scowled at Merlin and Clancy and then at everyone else. After two days, he was tired of hearing their apologies. “Tell that to Nelson! He’shurtand alone but I’m sure he’d feel better knowing you’re all so sorry!”
“Outside!”Smoak bellowed, streaking across the room and slamming Nox into the terrace doors, throwing them openand sending him tripping down the steps. The doors slammed behind Smoak as he advanced on Nox, his nostrils flaring and his eyes glowing menacingly. “You willneverspeak to me like that again. And fuck you for talking to them like that!” he hissed angrily and pointed at the study. “They are here because they love you and youneededthem, not because they fear you or owe you a goddamn thing. They’re giving you everything they can—as am I—and that is all you can ask of us.”
“I know!” Nox punched at the air, furious with himself, Dùbhghlas, and the nightmare they were trapped in. “Iknow that!” he whispered and cried as he jabbed at his temple. “But the god that you keep telling me to listen to wants to punish everyone and now, it wants to see everything burn! I’m fighting that every moment I’m conscious and I’m trying to be the leader everyone expects me to be and at the same time, I’mscared, Smoak. I’ve never been this scared and I spent most of my life thinking I was going to be eaten by the Dagda.”
Smoak cringed appreciatively. “I understand but you need to get your shit together. Fast. Dùbhghlas hasyour throne!” he said urgently. “I’m not worried that Nelson will give him anything useful—he’s too smart and too devoted to you. I’m worried about what Dùbhghlas could dowithNelson. We both know how much magick a man can absorb if he’s exposed to a god or a demon and Nelson has that pure and mighty soul… That valkyrie will be drawn to it like a moth to a flame.”
“With Nelson,” Nox echoed weakly, shaking his head. “He’s too strong but I’ll lose my mind if something like that happens to Nelson.” He had assumed that Dùbhghlas took Nelson to hurt and weakenhim. He was so scared of losing Nelson and the mortal life they were building together that he hadn’t considered what Dùbhghlas might dowithNelson, given his fondness for necromancy. “I’d lose him forever!” Nelson would be damnedfor all of eternity and would never make it to Mag Mel?1 if he gave up his soul.
“Would you get a grip!” Smoak gave Nox’s cheek a swift slap. “You know what boring-ass Nelson isn’t doing right now?” he asked and Nox shook his head. “He isn’t feeling sorry for himself or giving up. He’s learning, he’s planning, and he’s waiting to make a move. Let’s not leave him hanging.”
“I appreciate that you’re trying to help but you’ve given me more to worry about. Thanks for caring, though.” Nox smiled as he reached for Smoak’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. A wave of queasy uneasiness hit Nox and Smoak brushed his hand away, shuddering. “Oof! Not pleasant,” Nox noted and took a step back.
“Because this is unnatural.” Smoak gestured between them. “Weshould be fighting but we’d rather play house and pretend we’re buddies. Feelings fuck up everything, I tell you.”
“I didn’t realize demons had feelings.”
Smoak narrowed his eyes at Nox. “Not me. I was referring to you. You’re soft and it’s fucking everything up for the rest of us. I’m just…taking a break and enjoying my time with Niall. I’ve been at this for a millennia, you know?”
“A break? Is that what’s going on with you and Niall?” Nox chewed on his lip and hummed suspiciously. “Does Niall know this is just a break?”
“It’s none of your business,” Smoak snapped.
“I think it’sa lotmore than that and there’s something going on here, too,” Nox said as he waved between them. “We could be besties.”
Smoak set Nox away from him. “You’ve taken this from unnatural to fucking ridiculous. That’s not happening.”
“We’ll see.”
“Get back in the house and apologize to your friends,” Smoak said, pointing at the study.
“Right.” Nox tapped his brow, then jogged up the steps. He paused at the door. “Thanks, Smoak. I appreciate the kick in the pants and I honestly wouldn’t mind if we were true friends, not just allies because Niall made you.”
“I would mind,” Smoak replied with a shrug. “On your way.” He shooed Nox along but was smirking as he followed him inside.
The twins were seated on the sofa with Everly and Fletcher, and Niall was with Tighe, Howard, and Merlin by the poetry books. Shelby, Fletcher, and Clancy had gathered by the decanters and turned when Nox cleared his throat.
“I’m so sorry, everyone. There’s a war going on inside of me between a god and a scared, stupid kid and I am not handling it well. I took it out on you and that wasn’t fair. You’ve all done so much and I am deeply grateful for your friendship. I wouldn’t have been able to hold it together if you weren’t here.”
“It’s cool,” Bryn said and raised his tumbler. “You’re dealing with a lot and you’re in a lot of pain. Me or Arawn would have snapped you out of it if Smoak didn’t.”
“I’m glad it was Smoak, then,” Nox replied with a nod at Smoak. Their chat had given him a reason to hunt harder but Smoak had picked a terrifying incentive. “He was onto something out there, though. WWND?” he asked, only to receive several blank stares and a few groans so Nox continued. “What would Nelson do if he was out of fresh leads or hit a dead end? He’d go back to the beginning.”
Everly raised his hand hesitantly. “To Coudersport?” he guessed and Nox cheered.
“Exactly. He’d set aside the questions we can’t answer and take a fresh look at what we do know. And we learneda lotat Coudersport.”
