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“Yep. I have.”
“Well, just know that your friend isn’t wrong to worry about me. And your assessment of me is only partially accurate.”
I sighed. “I know you’d never hurt me, Max.”
“Not intentionally, no.”
I paused. “What does that mean?”
And as my eyes held his, something sinister boiled behind them. Something I’d never seen before. Something that made me freeze against him before his arm fell from around me. Was this it? Was this the part where my world shattered and left me for dead?
Not intentionally hurting you is a good thing.
But that didn't mean I wouldn’t get hurt, anyway.
And I was owed an explanation as to what that meant.
12
Max
I didn’t like the way she stopped moving against me. She didn't pull away, but she wasn’t soft against me any longer. She was on guard. And she needed to be. Because this conversation was long overdue. I needed to let her know what she was getting into with me. She deserved the right to know exactly what I was involved with. Well, not exactly. But she needed to understand that my lifestyle was rough. That people did depend on me, but not just for money. Or jobs.
They depended on me to survive.
“I’m waiting, Max.”
The waitress came by with our drinks, and not a moment too soon. I reached for my beer and took a long pull of it, hoping to relax a little bit. I wasn’t afraid. I was never afraid of shit like this. Especially with some girl. But, Dani wasn’t just ‘some girl.’ She was different. She made me feel different. And if I could get out of this without losing her, that’s the outcome I wanted.
If it was even possible.
“Dani, what I do… it’s not for the faint of heart.”
She turned fully toward me. “All right. So tell me what you do.”
I took another sip. “The life I lead is dangerous. I have enemies that take cracks at me all the time. That target me and my brother. They come after us on a regular basis.”
“Like when you were jumped outside the dorm?”
I nodded. “Yes. Like then.”
“You think someone’s out to get you?”
“I know someone is. It’s the nature of my business. What I do. The life I’ve chosen for myself. It’s wild, and unpredictable, and dangerous. And even though I’d do whatever it took to keep you safe, I also can’t guarantee I’ll always be able to do that.”
She blinked. “Well, I can take care of myself. I’m not completely incapable of something like that.”
“I never said you were. But I’m not talking about existential crises here, Dani. I’m talking about moments where former clients have wanted me dead. Wanted men in my crew dead. I’m talking about times where things go haywire with a job and we piss off the wrong person. And suddenly, I’m patrolling neighborhoods and going dark for weeks at a time to make sure the guys in my crew--and their families--are safe.”
“See? There. You keep them safe. You can keep me safe.”
I nodded. “I know. What I’m saying is that you could get hurt with me, Dani. Really, truly hurt. Not emotionally hurt. Not spiritually hurt. But physically, unfixably, hurt.”
The look on her face was unreadable. As she reached for her drink, I watched those soft lips of hers wrap around the small red straw. She took long sips. I watched her neck bounce softly with her swallows. I wanted to know what she was thinking. How she was feeling. But all I had to go on was the muted profile of her face.
The reality of the situation was that she couldn’t take care of herself. Not like she needed to for the life I led. I knew how easily Benji could make Dani back down. How easily anyone could make her a target and take her out at a moment’s notice. And those people were small fish. My father--with all his bullshit--was still only a medium-sized fish in a massive ocean of people who had the capability to run us all over. Take us all out before the sun could rise on yet another day.
I lived with that threat, day in and day out.
