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She took a step back. “Holy fuck, is that thing real?”
I pulled my pants up. “Yes.”
She shook her head. “Jesus. Who are you? Where did this person come from? My God, if your parents knew--”
“They don’t, and they won’t. Not until I tell them. You got that? They don’t need to know. I’m a grown-ass woman living in a grown-ass world with grown-ass issues. I don’t need permission, or approval, or a go-ahead from any of you. I’m finally figuring things out for myself. And I just wish you were on board.”
“When it’s turned you into this, how can I be on board? This isn’t you, Dani.”
“You have no idea what ‘me’ is. You've only known me for a little over a year. All you know is the scared little girl I was coming into college. Weren’t you the one that wanted to get me out there? Weren’t you the one that wanted to get me laid?”
She shook her head. “This isn’t on me. This is all you. I meant going to some parties, Dani. Dating a few boys and finding one you might have liked.”
“Yeah, well. I found one I loved. That I’ve given my all to.”
She blinked. “You haven’t--?”
“Like I’d fucking tell you anyway. Look, Hannah, I can’t force this on you. Do I wish you were on my side? Yep. Do I wish we were still friends? Yep.”
“We’re still friends.”
“We’re hardly roommates, Hannah! Look at us! I can’t stand you! And you can’t stand me, either. I’m done trying. I’m done trying to make you see my way with things. If you can’t take me as I am like this, then I don’t think we can--”
“Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare say what you’re about to say.”
I swallowed. “I still love you. I always will. You were my first roommate. My first ever friend on campus. But, I can’t keep doing this. I won’t keep doing this.”
I turned my back to her and slid my toiletries into the open spaces in my bag. I couldn't utter the words. I didn’t have the strength. But damn it, part of me wanted to. I felt my throat tighten as Hannah sniffled behind me. I didn’t want to lose my best friend over this. But I couldn't deal with her incessant criticism, either. Not any longer. It was too much, and I’d had enough.
“That how you really feel?”
Hannah voice was so soft that it almost broke my heart.
Almost.
“Yes. It’s how I really feel.”
She snickered. “Fine, then. I’ll find somewhere else to live.”
I zipped up my bag. “Not a problem. I’m already looking at new dorm buildings as we speak. Since I’m apparently the issue, it’s my responsibility to move anyway. Happy trails.”
“Wait, Dani. Stop. Please. We can talk this out. We can--”
I unlocked the door and ripped it open, slamming it against the wall. I still didn’t hear Max’s bike off in the distance, but I couldn't wait a second longer. I had a car. A nice one, at that. I could go out looking for him if I had to. And, if all else failed, I’d get a hotel close to campus for the night with the bit of money I had in my account. I knew that would raise suspicions with my parents. I knew it would prompt them to call me. But the idea was there as a last-ditch resort.
“Dani!”
Hannah yelled my voice down the hallway as I stopped outside the elevator. I jammed my hand into the buttons, thankful the door opened up immediately. I pulled my phone out as I stepped inside. I heard Hannah rushing down the hallway toward me.
“Dani, wait. Please!”
I pressed my finger against the ‘door close’ button, watching as she faded away. The doors closed before I heard her fists slam against it, and the elevator started moving. I sighed with relief. I looked up and watched the levels tick by. Until I was all the way at the bottom.
Then I started for my car.
I checked my phone and grew more anxious. I had no texts from Max. No phone calls. No voicemails. I stepped outside and felt as if I was being watched, but I wasn’t sure if that was my paranoia spiking or not. I hustled to the parking garage, thankful that my car was close. I tossed my things into the back before slipping behind the wheel. And the first thing I did was lock my doors.
Before shooting Max a text.
