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“Yeah. We’ve come to terms with it. I mean, we’re ready for anything, as long as we have a baby.”
“Well.” Dr. Williamson’s eyes brightened. “I admire you for not being put off by the possibility of a special-needs child.”
“Sure. A kid’s a kid.” I would be up to the challenge of a special needs child.
“It looks likely now that the baby won’t suffer any long-term health issues from the fire incident. We didn’t find any pathologies in the ultrasound or the blood test.” The doctor sat down at his computer screen. A message flashed on it. “Amnio results just came in.”
His face looked happy, then slightly concerned. He looked at me. “Good news. No genetic abnormalities. Negative for Down, Fragile X, anything else we can find with amnio.”
“Great. We’d be happy with the baby no matter what, but that’s great. But you seem — concerned?”
“It’s just that—” Dr. Williamson shook his head and smiled a little. “Amnio tests for gender.”
“Yes?”
“Your baby.” He looked at me. “Your baby is a girl. I hope that’s ok.”
“Wonderful!” I said.
“Oh.”
“Is there some reason I shouldn’t be happy?” Was there some medical fact that the doctor wasn’t letting out?
“Aiden always seemed to be referring to it as a boy. I figured that was what you both wanted.”
“No. That’s ridiculous.”
“Good. Thanks for clearing that up.”
“We never even really thought about the baby’s gender. A girl will be great. A boy would be great. Mind if I call Aiden about it?” I wobbled over a few steps and reached for the phone he’d left on the exam room’s counter.
“We’re actually all done for today, so take your time.” The doctor shook my hand.
“No problem. Thank you.” I nodded, and Dr. Williamson left the exam room. I started putting on my dress, then stopped myself to call Aiden.
“Eleanor, my beloved Eleanor. I’m driving now, but what’s up? How was the doctor’s?” Aiden’s voice was always a salve on my stresses, like a soothing balm on pregnancy's small everyday pains.
“Bunch of good news for you today. Can you handle it while driving your truck? I mean package van. They call it a package van, right?”
“Yeah, my package van. Always good news with you. And yeah, I can handle it. Lay it on me.”
“No birth defects found. No permanent health problems found from the fire incident.”
“Wow.”
“But wait, there’s more!” I was ecstatic and acting a bit silly. “They did an amnio fluid draw.”
“That’s the one that gets the baby’s sex, right?”
“Yup.”
“And..?”
“She’s a girl!”
“Really?” Aiden’s voice was wan through wind noise and the distant honking horns of New York traffic.
“Yeah, really. A girl.”
“Are you sure you want a baby?” He suddenly asked. It was out of nowhere. Maybe there’s been something right about Dr. Williamson’s caution.
“I drained my 401K and endured weeks of in vitro, didn’t I?” Of course, I wanted to have a baby. I didn’t want much else than to have a family and a baby.
“Yeah — but is it such a good idea? For us, I mean?”
“Aiden?”
“We should talk about this later?” He said, through even louder car horns.
“Yeah. Let’s talk about this when you get home from work.”
“I’m sorry, but I just don’t think, I—”
“Later. We’ll talk about it later.” I hung up the phone.
Exhaustion washed over my body again. I felt alone again. I’d gotten pregnant. I’d been in a fire. I’d taken leave from my job. I’d moved out of my apartment and moved in with Aiden. Aiden was my life now. I had entrusted my life to Aiden — and maybe the life of the baby too.
I had nowhere to go but Aiden’s arms, but maybe I’d been wrong about who Aiden was. He had rescued me from a fire and had invited me to move in together. But maybe he wouldn’t be the perfect father to the child that I had imagined him being. Maybe that part had all been my wishful projection.
Chapter Eleven - Aiden
The door wasn’t open or unlocked when I arrived home from work. Typically, Eleanor opened and unlocked the apartment door and even fired up the tea kettle in the kitchen when she saw my car pulling into the parking garage.
I unlocked the front door. The apartment was quiet.
“Eleanor?” No answer.
I found her in bed. She was under the blankets, completely, including her head, like a beautiful librarian-mummy. It was her usual way to escape from the world and the stress of pregnancy. I couldn’t even imagine the stress and pain involved in carrying a baby.
I sat at the edge of the bed and lay my hand on Eleanor’s feet through the comforter. “Hey, honey?”
The comforter rose up over her head. Her face was in tears. “I’m sorry. I was crying. I was upset. I’m sorry.”
“I know pregnancy is stressing you, and there are hormones, and your body hurts.”
I had no idea personally. I could even barely imagine.
