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My fingers were wrapped tightly around the pencil, so hard that it was almost a little painful. He glanced over at us and grinned, giving me a wink and making butterflies move wildly in my stomach, sucking the very air from my lungs.
He stepped into the entryway and leaned against the doorframe, crossing his big, muscular arms over his chest. “You girls studying hard?”
He glanced between Georgia and me and I cleared my throat, hoping he couldn’t see how affected I was by his presence.
“Hardly studying is more like it.” Georgia giggled and I glanced over at her, seeing this dreamy-eyed expression on her face.
But I couldn’t blame her for being attracted to Matthew. He was all man and I’d fallen down that rabbit hole, too.
He gave me one last look, the corner of his mouth kicking up in a smirk, before the sound of my dad calling for him rang out.
“See ya later, girls,” he said and walked away. I couldn’t help but sigh at the way his powerful body moved so stealthily.
“Good God. Your uncle is hot as hell,” Georgia said.
I glanced over at her and saw her fanning her face, her cheeks pink. Her gaze was locked on mine and she grinned before shrugging.
“He’s too old for us, Georgia,” I muttered and then realized what I’d said. I glanced up, feeling my eyes widen, but thankfully she hadn’t heard the slip in my comment. I should have said he was too old for her. I most definitely shouldn’t have said he was too old for us.
“What can I say? He’s every girl’s fantasy.”
I shook my head and glanced away, hoping she didn’t see how much this conversation affected me. I didn’t want my secret to come out, definitely not like this.
Lusting after my uncle? Related or not, he’d been in my life for, well, ever. And no doubt people would see my feelings as wrong and sick, taboo.
Maybe I shouldn’t care what people thought. But the very idea of Matthew thinking those things was painful. So keeping this to myself, taking it to my grave, was for the best.
2
Ivy
“Party at your house this weekend? Count me the hell in,” Georgia said after she guzzled half her water bottle.
“Calling it a party might be exaggerating. It’ll just be my dad, Matthew, and you. I’m not really feeling anything big.”
“Ivy, it’s your nineteenth birthday, your last year of high school. What do you mean not feeling anything big?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s just not a big deal.”
Georgia looked shocked. “Well, it’s your birthday so your decision.” She smiled. “But I think a party would be cool.” She shrugged and went back to eating her food. And then she started talking about Marcus, one of the guys in her class who’d been showing interest in me the whole school year.
That was the thing about Georgia; she didn’t linger on certain subjects, and I was thankful for that. I didn’t want to talk about a party, because the truth was as much as I would’ve liked having friends over to celebrate my nineteenth birthday, there was something going on with my dad.
I’d seen the change in him over the last week or so, how distant he’d been, the lack of conversation, his overall contact with me. He didn’t even act happy, and I’d felt that change thicken the air.
He seemed stressed, and the last thing I wanted to do was bring up something so mundane as a birthday party when he was obviously dealing with stuff.
“So, what about Marcus?” Georgia said, breaking through my thoughts.
I wrinkled my nose and shook my head.
“Seriously?” Georgia asked. “He’s one of the hottest guys in school. Not to mention he’s like totally into you.”
“He’s not my type,” I said, really not wanting to talk about Marcus or any other guy, for that matter.
I wasn’t interested in him. I wasn’t interested in anyone but Matthew. Then again, look at how that was going for me. It’s not like I could actually be with him. Not like I could actually admit to him how I felt, or anyone else for that matter. And this wasn’t just infatuation. This wasn’t just some schoolgirl crush. I loved him.
I was in love with him in a way I probably shouldn’t be, in a way that would seem disgusting to society, would seem immoral and just … wrong.
It was taboo to be in love with a family member, even if said family member wasn’t related by anything but marriage.
But I didn’t care. I knew what I wanted, who I cared about, and that was all that mattered to me.
* * *
I pulled into the driveway of my house, my thoughts on what Georgia had said. Maybe I should just try and push away my feelings for Matthew and go after someone my own age … someone who wasn’t connected to me in a forbidden manner. But even thinking about being with someone else left a bad taste in my mouth. It had my stomach clenching and all kinds of wrong thoughts filling me.
