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Knew William either didn’t care or was hiding it from himself that he did.
Knew Clive cared deeply. That he felt betrayed. Lied to. And he should. I had done both, hadn’t I? Now, I’d set them against each other, without even meaning to, and I could hear them fighting. Hear the grunts of pain, fists slamming against flesh.
I should have run out there and tried to stop them. I should have accepted whatever castigation Clive wanted to heap on me. I should have told them I wasn’t worth fighting over, and Clive was right.
But I couldn’t face them.
Couldn’t bear to see Clive turn away from me.
Couldn’t bear to see if William looked at me differently, despite his words.
Couldn’t bear to see them fighting because of me.
So, I did what came naturally—I turned tail and ran. Ran past the henhouse and the vegetable garden, past the well, and over the hill, until I couldn’t hear them anymore, then fell to my knees, sobbing as though my heart was breaking… because it was.
Had I really thought I would be able to hide my past from them forever?
Had I really thought they would accept my past?
William didn’t seem bothered, a little voice whispered in my head. It didn’t matter, though. It clearly bothered Clive, and he and William were partners. They’d been partners for far longer than they’d known me. I would never expect William to choose me over Clive, wouldn’t even want him to. The two of them needed each other, balanced each other.
I had just hoped I could be part of that balance, had thought maybe they would come to love me the way I already loved them.
But it was too soon, far too soon to hope any feelings they did have for me could last in the face of my past.
Thief.
Whore.
I could not deny the charges. I was both.
I was also a woman who had fallen in love. It didn’t matter I had not known them long, I’d fallen in love with both of them. Had thought I might have even found happiness with them.
I should have known better.
Since when had any part of my life ended happily?
Slowly, my tears ran out, leaving me drained. Empty. Hopeless.
My knees were beginning to hurt, the ground hard and rocky under my skirts, but I had not noticed until now. I slowly got to my feet, staring off into the distance, the endless fields…
I could keep running.
It wasn’t Lord Carmichael I wanted to run from, though, it was my husbands. My husbands who deserved an apology from me, at the very least, even if they were unlikely to remain my husbands for much longer. They should know I was sorry for deceiving them.
Sorry for coming between them.
I did not expect it to change how Clive felt about me, but he still deserved to hear it. And William… my sweet, gentle William, my defender, even when he shouldn’t have. I didn’t know how to make it up to him, but I could at least try to explain. They deserved to hear the truth from me.
What happened after that… well, it didn’t matter. Nothing felt like it mattered now. I would do whatever they wished of me.
Weary but resolute, I turned around.
A man was standing there, one I had never seen before, and my eyes widened when he grinned at me. It was not a nice grin.
“There ye are,” he said, his accent clearly British.
I screamed and turned to run, but it was too late. Something slammed into the back of my head, and everything went dark.
