Page 96 of More Than Friends

I stare at my phone,wondering if I should send the text I’ve typed out to Jude. I left his house on Monday, and now that it’s Thursday and days later, I’m ready to get back home. When I first left, I really intended on only being gone a few hours, but the longer I was gone, the more I realized how much the conversation with Florence had gotten to me. I needed time to work out my thoughts and I didn’t want to mess up Jude’s time with his parents. I look back down at my phone, getting the courage to send the text.

CHARLOTTE

Is it okay if I come back today?

I toss my phone onto the counter, nervous about what Jude’s response will be. I know he’s got to have questions about why I stayed away in the first place and I need to be honest with him about the reason, I’m just nervous about approaching the conversation with him. After some time away, I’ve realized that I can’t avoid having more serious conversations with him any longer.

I jump when my phone vibrates.

JUDE

Of course. This is your home, Char. I didn’t want you to stay anywhere else in the first place.

I stare at the text on my phone, rereading it for what feels like the hundredth time. When I left his house on Monday, I didn’t have the intention of staying away for days. But one day led to the next, and the more time that passed, the more I replayed Jude’s mom’s words over and over in my head. I’ve wanted to go home, but I also wanted to make sure I took the time away from Jude to really sort out how I was feeling before returning home to talk with him. I’ve taken the time needed, and now I’m just ready to see him again.

“Okay, I tried giving you a pass, but we have to talk about it,” Lucy declares, breaking me from my thoughts.

I jolt in my barstool at her kitchen counter, my eyes immediately finding hers. She stands on the opposite side of the island from me, her gaze pinned squarely on me.

“What?” I ask, placing my phone down on the counter.

Lucy shakes her head. “Don’t play coy with me. You’ve been here since Monday, and while I love all the catching up we’ve been able to do, I know there’s a reason you aren’t going back to Jude’s, and I want you to tell me why.”

I try to make sure my face doesn’t give any hint of what’s been going on. “His parents are in town, so I wanted to give them space to spend time together…and you’ve needed the help.”

“You’re not using me as an excuse for avoiding Jude.”

I groan before scrubbing my hands over my face. “I’m not avoiding Jude.”

“Yes you are. Tell me why.”

“You don’t know that,” I toss out, fully recognizing how weak my voice is. I don’t even believe myself; I don’t know how I expect her to believe me either.

Lucy rolls her eyes—something I’ve rarely seen her do. “Yes I do. Now, stop moping and holding it in and talk to me.”

“I’m not moping.”

She snorts and aims a spoon in my direction before she stirs the food in front of her. “You’re absolutely moping. Spill.”

I sigh. Maybe it’ll be good to tell her about my conversation with Florence. I thought about talking to one of my sisters about it all, but it seemed like too much to relay to them. Plus, I don’t want them to get the wrong impression of Florence. I don’t think she meant any of her words to be cruel—she just cares for her son—but I can’t help but worry that she has a point about everything. Although Lucy has kind of echoed the same things as Florence, maybe it’ll still help bring some clarity to the entire thing to have an outside source give their opinion.

“You know when I told you that Jude and I were just friends?”

“You mean, do I remember when you lied to my face? I sure do.”

I narrow my eyes at her for a moment before continuing. “Well, things happened. When you and I first spoke about it, the only thing Jude and I had done was kiss. And it was barely a kiss. The night before Ava showed up, we both drank a lot and shared a moment. After Ava, I thought it was only ever going to be that…a moment.”

Lucy tosses the spoon in the bowl, rounds the counter, and takes the seat next to me. “But…”

“But it wasn’t just a moment. It was just the moment that was a catalyst for a bunch of other moments.”

“Tell me everything.”

I close my eyes for a second, trying to ignore the stabbing pain in my chest that I feel when talking about Jude. I know to the outside world it may seem too fast, how quickly things changed between us, but we were spending every second of every day together. I couldn’t help but develop feelings for him.

I don’t know how long it takes to tell Lucy everything that happened between Jude and me. I try to give her every detail, hoping that maybe she can give insight that I haven’t thought of. As nervous as I am to tell her everything, I want her honest opinion on the situation.

When I woke up on Monday, I felt good about the direction Jude and I were heading in. I know we still needed to have some serious conversations, but I felt hope. But after his mom questioned if Jude and I were only feeling things because of the situation we’re in, I don’t know what to believe anymore. I know I want to be honest with Jude about how I feel and about my talk with his mother and the fears it brought to light, but it’s still complicated. I know how I feel about Jude, but I can’t help but wonder if Florence was right about her son. What if he’s just lost in playing house with me? What if he doesn’t feel the same way about me that I feel about him? Maybe Lucy can give more insight into the situation and help me with what I should say when I do go back home and talk to Jude.