Page 99 of The Twisted Beats

Doing coke hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be. I expected to feel disgusted with myself, but when I’m on it, I’m on top of the world and my energy level is off the charts. It could help her feel better.

I nudge her to look at me. “How would you like to be higher than you ever have, but still in control?”

Her head rests back against the top of the couch and rolls my way. “Sounds like a dream come true.”

“Come with me. I have your remedy.” I stand and pull her up.

We go into the bathroom behind the band room, between their laundry and exercise rooms. Her pupils are dilated and tired-looking. She’s missing her spark.

I lock the door behind us. “Don’t judge, okay?”

“You saw what I do to my wrists. Do you think I’m going to judge you?” She sits on the toilet. “Whatever you have, I’m game.”

“Good.” I dig in my jeans pocket and pull out a little bagof blow. “It’s coke, but if you only do a little at a time, we can figure out how much a perfect amount is for you.”

“Like I said earlier, I trust you. I’m in.”

I get it together on the sink and pull out my straw. My ma got me one of my own so I wouldn’t take hers.

I cut four lines and one of those in half for Lily. “Do the small one first. We can take it from there. If you need it, you can have more.”

“You do it first.”

“Right. It probably would be better if I showed you how.” I do a line and she studies my reaction. When I don’t respond too bad, she stands, takes the straw, and does a small line.

“Damn, that burns.” She rubs her nose and swallows. She makes a face as if she’s tasting something awful. “That shit is gross.”

“Just give it a second.” I snort another line.

When I raise my head, she’s smiling. The dullness in her gaze is gone.

“There are those bright blue eyes I love.” I hand her the straw. “You can have more if you want.”

She laughs. “Who wouldn’t?”

I expect her to do the rest of the little bump, but she does a full line. Fuck, she’s gonna feel that. She’s small and that’s gonna hit hard.

She places the straw down, presses into me, and kisses me as passionately as she can. My chest expands and I feel like a giant.

I make out with the woman I love, happier than I’ve been all night. And given the fact I had sex with her for the first time and it was spectacular, that’s saying a lot.

After messing around for a while in the bathroom, we decide to get back to the party. We spend the rest of the night dancing and singing with each other without a care in the world. My ma even comes down and joins us for a while.

After thinking I screwed up with Lily, I end up knowing Ihelped her have the time of her life. I’m not sure I’ll ever feel better than I do right now.

We spend the next two weeks doing much of the same. During the day, we hang out at her house and have sex whenever we can.

We can’t keep our hands off each other. Most of the time we’re sober and just expressing our love for each other, but sometimes we like to add getting high on top of it, just to change it up.

Since she’s still on break, she’s allowed to come to all of our concerts. When we get there, we find a place to fuck, party a bit, and then I go on stage. I enjoy the performances a lot more now that she’s watching me from the sidelines.

She beams with pride whenever I turn her way. We even let Bren use some of the coke and all seems right in the world. Sadly, this is why I miss the cracks in the floor.

I’m getting noticed by other producers wanting to know if I’ll do a few one-off solo acts. My uncle’s looked into it and I’m free to do them as far as my contract states. I just can’t leave Ur Boyz.

We’re at my house one afternoon, sitting on my bed. “I’ve been asked to do a few songs for the New Year’s Eve bash in Vegas. I talked with Guns, Hawke, and Cooper and they’ll help me out.”

“So Mayhem begins.” She reaches for my computer. “What songs are you going to perform?”