Page 113 of The Bitter Words

“Yeah, but you did.”

“She really fucking did this?” All my hope drains from my limbs and I shake my head. “This is what she wants? She wants to break apart our connection and make it impossible for me to work it out with her?”

“She’s the one who chose to file, so I’m assuming she doesn’t wanna see or talk to you until the hearing. Possibly longer.”

“Fucking hell.” A flash of fire zips through my stomach. “Should I expect a statutory rape charge next?”

“No. She wouldn’t go that far.” His gaze falls to the ground and for a brief second, my best friend shows up. “I’m sorry, bro. I never thought it would come to this.”

“Then help me fix it.”

“I can’t.” He straightens his back and connects his cold glare with mine. “Cash, follow the law or she’ll go to court and that temporary restraining order will become a permanent one.”

The air in my lungs is forced out of me as if she hit me in the back with a steel beam. My throat dries out and I go numb all over.

“Guns, I can’t lose her. Don’t let this happen.”

“Cash, give her the time and space she needs. If it’s meant to be, it’ll work itself out.”

I reach for some leverage. “How are we supposed to practice if I can’t be here? We jam in your basement.”

“We’ll figure out something.” He starts to shut the door.

“Guns, please. I’m begging you. Talk her out of this.”

He peers through a crack in the opening. “Text me later. That’s the best I can do.”

He disappears behind the glass and wood barrier between us. I stand frozen, staring at the door, praying she’ll change her mind and open it.

I leave a couple of minutes later with every part of me turning to ash and blowing away with the wind. My soul is empty and I’m left with nothing.

I can’t say I blame her for wanting nothing to do with me. Any decent man would’ve stopped the abuse sooner. I haven’t. That’s on me. Even I’m disgusted with myself.

I return home and shuffle into the house. “Ma, can you get me some painkillers?”

“Bubba…” She steps out of the kitchen. “You’ve been clean and doing well. Are you sure?—”

“Just get them for me. I have a migraine and need some relief.”

“Okay, honey. Lie down on the sofa and I’ll get a couple for you.”

“Make it three.” I pull off my boots and stretch out on the couch.

Memories of the good times I shared with Livianna wisp through my mind. How did our relationship get so fucked up?

Leon fucking Baker.

I wanna be pissed at my ma and my uncle for allowing him to enter my life. But the truth is, if they had tried to keep me away from him, I would’ve found a way to get involved with him on my own.

Every bad thing that’s happened between us goes straight back to him. Well, there is one thing that my uncle is responsible for.

I say I forgive him, but deep down I resent the fuck out of him for hurting Livianna and causing her to lose our child.

I don’t care if Leon fed him with meth and sat around telling him how Livianna was screwing everything up.

But Leon wanted me for himself and needed her out of my life. He used my uncle and he got what he wanted.

My muscles tense and heat rolls through me. My sadness turns into anger. I push myself up to go have it out with him right as my ma strolls back into the room.