Page 29 of The Bitter Words

“She hasn’t lost me. Maybe it’s someone else, but it’s not?—”

“Cash, you’ve never lied to me before. Please don’t start now.”

My lungs deflate. “What are you asking me, sir?”

“The day you were all at the doctor’s office.” He pinches the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes shut. He takes a breath and then makes direct eye contact with me. “You told us she wasn’t pregnant. That it was just a scare.”

“I never told you that. Livianna did and she wasn’t when you asked her.”

“Your mother said it was a scare and all those media pictures and reports were altered to create a bigger story. Is that true?”

“My ma did tell you that.”

“Cash, you’re wearing on my patience.” He leans closer to me. “Let me be clear. Was Livianna ever pregnant?”

My head grows light and my pulse races. There’s no way I can get out of this without lying.

Bren said my pops saved Livianna by coming to me in a dream. I can’t betray my pops by going back on my promise to him, even if it means I expose our loss.

I swallow hard. “Yes, sir. She was.”

“For Christ’s sake, Cash. She had an abortion and none of you thought her parents should know about it. How was that even allowed? She was only fifteen.”

“She didn’t have an abortion. I don’t believe in it.”

He pulls back. “She miscarried?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then why was she given painkillers?”

“Lily said it hurt a lot.” My chest aches. “She lost a lot of blood. It was bad, Mr. Hemings.”

“Were you there with her when it happened?”

“Yes, sir. My ma came over to help us because you were out of town. We were gonna tell you about the baby, but she lost it before we could.” I shift around in my chair. “Lily was really upset, so my ma told us she’d take care of everything for us.”

He lowers his head. “Jesus, Livianna’s been dealing with that all on her own.”

“I was there for her.” My stomach spins and my chest empties. “I have been there for her, but she acts like it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“You’ve been on the road since March.” He rises to his feet, shaking. “How could you possibly believe you’ve been there for her or that she’s over it?”

“It seemed like it meant more to me than it did to her.”

“That can’t be close to the truth.”

“It is. She told me she thought it was for the best.”

“What was for the best?”

“That she miscarried.”

“Cash, you’re a young man, so I’m trying to give you some leniency, but she lost her baby.” He trudges over to the island. “How do you not recognize how painful that is for her?”

“It might be, but if it is, I wouldn’t know because she doesn’t talk about it with me.” I get up and trek to him so he can see my sincerity. “Sometimes I feel like it’s harder for me. I got a tattoo on my back to show her he would always be with us and she didn’t even care.”

“What?”