Page 118 of The Jaded Notes

The irony isn’t lost on me. I’ve spent the last year and a half teaching her about surrender, about the power of letting go.

But now, when it matters most, I’m the one who can’t release my grip on control long enough to choose love oversuccess. And I’m terrified that by the time I figure out how to let go, it’ll be too late.

It’s been two hours since she left me, and that’s way too much time for me. I knock on her apartment door and wait. I’ve got to convince her to go back to California with me.

She’s upset and not thinking rationally. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, and my timing sucked. I can handle billion-dollar deals with ease, but handling her with the utmost care and I fuck it up.

Nice job, Jaxon.

A minute passes, and Livianna doesn’t answer her door. I growl and consider using my key to let myself in, but something about doing that tonight is overstepping, and even I know that.

Where the hell is she?

I should’ve chased her down, but I thought she needed the space. She likely does. And with the way my night is going so far, she’s probably out with Trent dancing up a storm, wearing her iron mask like she doesn’t give a fuck about anyone or anything.

My insides twist and knot. I’ll give her tonight, but I’ll be back in the morning to finish this. There’s no way I’m losing her now.

My driver takes me back to my penthouse. I ride the elevator up with my head hung low and my stomach roiling. Once I’m in the foyer and about to give up for the night, something shifts near the glass balcony doors.

Livianna.

The new doorman has been told she’s allowed in whenever she wants. I remain where I am because I don’t want tospook her more than I already have. She turns to me with a glass of wine in her hand.

“Hi, Jax. Sorry to come here unannounced.”

“You’re always welcome here.”

She lifts the glass and takes a slow sip, her eyes cutting back to me over the rim.

She swallows and lowers the wineglass until it’s near her hip. “I’ve been thinking.”

My chest tightens. That never means anything simple with her.

“About?”

“About coming with you.” She sets her drink down on the side table and faces me fully. “I think maybe I was too quick to say no.”

My heart stutters, hope flaring so fast it’s almost painful. “What changed your mind?”

She wraps her arms around herself, a gesture that’s become familiar when she’s working through difficult emotions.

“I realized something while I was walking around the city tonight. I was so focused on what I’d be leaving behind that I wasn’t considering what I might be running toward.”

I take a step closer, careful not to crowd her. “And what would that be?”

“Home.” The word comes out soft and uncertain. “I mean, California. My parents are there. And as much as I’ve built this life in Paris, part of me has always known I’d have to go back. Maybe now’s the time.”

“For your parents?”

She nods, her expression complicated. “Things with them have been...better lately. Not perfect, but mending. They’re actually proud of what I’ve accomplished with Lehlani Rose Designs. And maybe being closer to them and showing them I’m stable and successful… Maybe that would help cement our relationship once and for all.”

There’s a vulnerability in her admission. After everything she’s told me about her relationship with her parents, about feeling like the lesser twin, like the replacement for Lehlani Rose, this matters to her more than she wants to admit. But there’s more to it than that.

“That’s not the only reason, though, is it?” I ask because I can read the conflict still warring inside her.

She meets my gaze, and the truth is there before she speaks it. “No, it’s not.”

“Tell me what you’ve been thinking about.”