Page 42 of The Jaded Notes

And for the first time in my life, I’m not sure if my silence is saving me or destroying everything I’m trying not to need.

Chapter Ten

LIVIANNA/LILY

Then

Valentine’s Ruin & The Night I Find Myself

They don’t ask why I’m here, only who I want to be when I leave.

Paris doesn’t whisper on Valentine’s night. It breathes in moans and exhales sin.

This is it, Livianna.My limbs tremble with the mounting excitement coiling in my stomach.

Valentine’s Day without a lover to share it with is flat-out wrong, so I took matters into my own hands. I stand on the threshold of the unmarked building, my heart pacing like it’s late for a train I’m about to miss.

Today, in this city, I don’t ask for love. I demand desire. And tonight, I’m here to claim exactly that.

Underneath the awning, there’s no sign above the entrance. Just a man in a black suit so sharply cut, it could be a weapon. He’s standing at a podium. I suck in a breath of courage and approach him.

“Hi, I’m Livianna Hemings. Mateo Beckett put my nameon the list for entry this evening.” I shift from side to side, adjusting my red-lace-covered black dress.

The man doesn’t respond with words. He raises a scanner. His eyes flick to mine with the kind of cool detachment reserved for royalty. He scans my face, then my palm. No words are spoken.

But the air between us says everything…permission granted. The door opens without a sound.

Warmth spills out as soft, seductive music plays and hums in time with my pulse. I step inside, and the world outside dissolves.

The air is heavier. Not stifling, but intimate like the inhale just before a secret is told.

Elite-Sinsations isn’t just a venue. It’s a sanctuary designed for reclamation, seduction, and sensory surrender. The interior matches its members—veiled in anonymity that isn’t just given, it’s worshipped.

The club is layered in power and crafted to ignite erotic transformation. It promises luxury and passion while exploring taboo encounters.

They’re all legal and range from sinfully delicious scenarios to various levels of extreme. Everything is invitation-only and granted after written consent, signed nondisclosure agreements, and a clean STI panel.

When Mateo sent over the list of options or kinks the members are into, I had a hard time choosing just one experience. Some like to be voyeurs, while others are exhibitionists.

But for me…I’m here to find a part of myself. To own a side of myself that I’ve always just given away to create a bond.

Tonight is my liberation from that, and I’m going to enjoy my sexual escape guilt-free. I plan to lean into being wanted and the only woman my partners are interested in.

God, I need this.

After another one of Jax’s rejections and Callum’s never-ending pokes at me, I crave having the power to control what happens to me in a romantic or sexual way. And the situation I set up is about just that.

Velvet drapes cloak the entry in blackness, inviting me to feel before I see. The air is spiced with sandalwood and tension, laced with jasmine oil and something sinful like sex before going to church.

I inch forward, not knowing exactly how I’m supposed to proceed. I take in every piece of my surroundings. The aesthetics are enhancing my anticipation.

The walls are lined with black leather. They’re designed to bend the light, shifting it from crimson to champagne.

I reach a row of dressing rooms. One of them has a red rose-colored robe hanging on the wall. There’s a locker with the initials LH etched on a gold-plated label. This must be my designated space. I close the heavy black drape behind me and change my clothes.

I shake out my hands and decide to go naked underneath the robe. That way, the experience will be easier to access when the time comes.

Once my purse and clothes are secure in the locker, I step into an open area. Masked patrons drift in and out of velvet-curtained rooms like slow-moving shadows in gowns, tuxedos, or nothing at all.