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“What are you thinking?” I asked without looking over.
She didn’t bother to, either, lost in the world inside her head, a world I loved to manipulate.
“That I really have no fucking clue about your past, and you know all about mine,” she responded somberly after taking a drink. I bit back a laugh.
“That’s not exactly true.” I didn’t elaborate on my answer; didn’t need to. She knew more about me than almost any woman ever had. I only knew her better than she knew herself because she was so lost when I first found her. She wasn’t now, though.
My beautiful girl no longer wanted to fight her demons, she wanted to embrace them. Tito had all but told me that, but I didn’t believe him.
She’d struggled with it before, warring with herself about who she was. I knew there would still be ups and downs to come.
Cali was, if nothing else, vexing and an unstable pain in the ass, but I was prepared to deal with it.
I bypassed the elevators and led her down the stairs. She didn’t question why, she just accepted it. On some subconscious level, I knew I had her trust. I also knew she wouldn’t outright admit it, not when she herself wasn’t aware.
Sometimes I wanted to warn her away, tell her to run as far from me as she could. A good man would have. Lucky for me, I wasn’t classified as one of those and had no fucking desire to be.
It was too late now anyway. Inside these walls we were in a fragile bubble; outside, anarchy was already reigning in the streets. We’d be in the fray soon enough. We were already half-way through the day and I had so much fucking shit left to do, too many moves left to make.
I had to give her some of my time, though. I’d just gotten her back, and in her condition the last thing I needed was her questioning my loyalty to her.
Had she been any other woman, I’d have snapped her neck or slit her throat to spare myself this emotional ping-pong bullshit.
“How did you know that guy?” Her soft voice pulled me back to the present.
I instantly knew who the ‘guy’ was she was asking me about. “I grew up with him. He was brought to my camp when I was twelve. He’s a skinner. Skin-farming is his livelihood. He make goods from human flesh; leather exclusives…belts, wallets.”
“Did you just say it’s his livelihood?”
“His and a good amount of others. The mayor makes it worthwhile.” From the corner of my eye, I saw her brows furrow.
“The mayor of The Kingdom—Centriole—pays people in the Badlands for human skin?”
“Not people. Luther. And he isn’t as powerful as he makes himself out to be.” I knew my answer only added to her never-ending list of questions.
She was struggling to rein everything in, trying to process it all. I could’ve helped her, but damn if I didn’t love watching the gears turn in her pretty little head. Cali did stupid shit but she was truly fucking brilliant.
It was only a matter of time before all the things she’d been naively ignoring gave her some answers to what she wanted to know. Only some, though. It was the unanswered questions that were better for her to wonder about and draw her own conclusions.
She finally glanced at me and took her time, openly staring at me and using the metal hand rail to guide her along. I would never get tired of that. She looked at me and saw the beast beneath the surface, and she’d never run.
If she did, I’d chase her. It wouldn’t matter how fast she ran, I was faster.
Men like me didn’t get women like her, the kind of women who embraced our every flaw, let us freely sin, and never tried to change us.
The last time I was given anything that held significant value was on my tenth birthday. My mother gave me the tactical knife I always carried with me. Exactly a week later, I used that very knife to sever her lifeline.
I believed this was a twist of fate. The God of Death herself made sure I would have a queen to my king. An angel that was exiled and stripped of her wings before she ever got the chance to fly. That had to be why I just so happened to be in the woods the day Cali dramatically rolled down that fucking hill. She never did anything half-assed.
All the men in her life had failed to protect her. They never realized they had something as rare as gold in the palms of their hands. Instead, they shoved her in a bottomless sinkhole to wither away. Now, I got to watch her rise from the ashes like a goddamn phoenix.
She was a dark rose finally learning how to wield the wicked thorns she’d been forced to grow.
She was everything, and she was fucking mine. I didn’t need a deal to do what was right for once. I was going to tear apart every motherfucker that hurt her.
Her shameful truths became my veng
eance. Destroying The Order would never be her burden to carry alone.
