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That may be the reason I had some unresolved daddy issues, but that was a different story.
Things rapidly went into my severely uncomfortable zone. The gorgeous dark-skinned woman who had settled beside me pulled a small vial from between her breasts and dumped a little white pile right on the damn table. She leaned down and snorted it right into her nose, making my stomach turn.
No one batted an eyelid. As if sensing my rising discomfort, Mateo murmured something native in my ear and began stroking my thigh beneath the table. He had been playing a card game I couldn’t follow since I’d sat down.
I shifted, feeling his fingers go a little higher, biting into a smile when they abruptly froze at my bare pussy.
“Elena,” he began in a low voice. I stood the second I felt him grow hard underneath me.
“I’m going to sit with my friends.” I pecked his cheek and moved away before he could stop me.
I glanced back at him once I was next to Peyton, feeling a tingle dance down my spine from the look I was met with.
As the night wore on, Melody ended up lost in conversation with Diablo, of all people. Peyton had been wrangled into a game of craps. I found myself alone on a balcony that overlooked the club, leaning against the portion that partially hid me from the rest of the room, checking on my friends every few minutes.
I looked out over the club still full of people having the time of their lives, adding sweet American money to Mateo’s brilliant laundering front.
And I thought of my beautiful sister. She would have been in that room helping deplete the powder supply and deciding which narco she would be taking to bed. I missed her more than I thought I ever could.
She’d only been gone a moment, but it felt like a lifetime.
I’d lost my real sister long ago. The Eva that had gone missing was a dim echo of the girl she used to be. The last heart to heart we’d had she was crying in my lap in a moment of sobriety, telling me this wasn’t her.
The odds of her being alive were slim. I was doing a damn good job of fooling myself otherwise. Painful truths were never easy to swallow. The moment I wavered and began to believe she was gone I felt the need to apologize for letting go. Did it make me a bad person to even consider it?
I glanced to my right and gave a tight smile. Mateo was on the opposite side of the balcony, watching me in a deeply predatory way. I had no idea how long he’d been there.
“I wouldn’t have let you leave the house like that,” he said, after perusing every inch of my body.
“Well, that’s not sexist at all Mateo,” I laughed, crossing my arms over my breasts.
“I meant I wouldn’t let you walk around like a billboard seeking to be fucked.”
“Maybe dressing like this makes me feel pretty.” I shrugged and looked away.
“Don’t,” he said, sharp enough to regain my attention. “You’re not that woman.”
I wanted to ask how he knew what type of woman I was instead, I sipped down the rest of my drink.
“You’re right. I was supposed to be getting fucked, but you wanted to come here instead.”
“Were the multiple rounds earlier not enough?” he asked, suddenly right in front of me. My eyes drifted up to his and my breath caught. Had he smelled this good all night? And why the hell did he look so, so good right now? It was late. His golden skin and tiger eyes looked even more enticing beneath the dark club lights.
Every time I looked at him lately a feeling of confliction restricted around my neck like a noose.
What if I didn’t use him as my in for finding Eva? What if I told my grandmother to fuck off? What if I just let this be whatever it was going to be? Did that make me selfish?
It was his presence that made my mind seem to shut up. He stood in front of the door inside my head that led to a room full of darkness, and kept it closed.
We were such an unconventional couple. I knew he was a killer, but I couldn’t help the way I felt about him. I knew I should stop this from going any further. I was too close. I was falling for a man who sold the poison that killed my sister. He was a complicated evil.
Reaching up, I smoothed a hand over his face, studying it for a millionth time.
I wasn’t allowed to love him, but I still imagined I could. I found myself wondering, what if it happened the other way around?
How immoral would I have to be for a kingpin to fall in love with me?
With a slight shake of my head I slowly dropped my hand to rest on his chest. That way of thinking wouldn’t do me any good. The habits of my heart were going to tear me apart. I needed to be readying a parachute because there was no doubt in my mind this was going to go up in flames. I felt it in my gut.
