“If I believed such, you presume that would cause me anguish?” Anger sparked in Elizabeth. So he had seen her growing esteem for him. Seen it, and apparently counted her regard as worth little.
Coming around the sundial to face her, he said, “I would be lying if I did not admit to a hope that my engagement to another would pain you.”
“And you lying would be out of character in what way?”
He flinched as if struck. “I abhor pretense of any sort.”
“You will allow me to take that with a certain amount of skepticism, sir.”
His jaw worked, the muscles rippling. “I deserve that.”
“Indeed.”
Such torment filled his eyes, it hurt Elizabeth to meet them, but she had no intention of relenting. The man before her had lied about who he was for the better part of a month. Not only to her but the whole of Meryton. He had deceived her friends, her family, her entire community.
Her heart.
And for what? His safety?
No. Mr. Darcy, though obviously possessing faults, did not strike her as someone who would lie simply for his own safety. “Why did you do it?”
As always, he did not reply immediately, adopting that thoughtful expression that made her feel as if he truly considered her question. As if speaking his heart to her were of eminent importance. As if she mattered to him.
Or he simply sought time to conjure up a convincing lie.
“I did not know of the threat to me—” He broke off with a grimace. “I should confess first that the threat was oneof murder, not abduction. Mr. Wickham offered ten thousand pounds for proof of my demise.”
“So I have since been informed.” She studied the hard plains of his face, seeking the truth there. “And you did not know?”
“Not until I arrived in Meryton. I had spent over a year ensconced in my estate, Pemberley, with Georgiana, trying to find some way to break her from her misery. I had no notion that Wickham had put out a reward for my demise.”
“You have left everything to your sister,” Elizabeth realized, pieces tumbling into place. “You have lost both of your parents. Miss Darcy is the closest family you have left, and she married Mr. Wickham.”
He flinched again. “You know that?”
“Miss Darcy told me.”
“Please tell me you did not share that information?”
Elizabeth eyed him. “Do I truly appear to you as someone who would share your sister’s greatest secret?” Before he could reply, she gave a bitter laugh. “Obviously, I do, for if you had any faith in me, any trust, we would not be in this predicament.”
“You believe that is why I did not tell you the truth,” he said slowly. “You think that I do not trust you.”
She thought precisely that, but it stung to hear the words leave his mouth. Elizabeth drew back her shoulders. “What other reason is there?”
“This.” His sweeping gesture encompassed them both. “I did not tell you at first because Richard convinced me of the necessity of his plan and of the folly of attempting to derail his mission, but later, it was because I could not bear to see the very betrayal that is even now upon your face.”
“So you planned what? Never to tell me?” Why must he appear so bereft? So miserable? She was the one who had been wronged. Her hand twitched, longing to reach for him. To smooth the lines of anguish from his face. “I met with you, spokewith you, and permitted a certain amount of esteem for you to enter my thoughts, and all the while I did not even know your name. I believed I was…was coming to hold affection for you, when in truth I know nothing about you.”
“My name may have been a ruse, but none of my actions were. Nothing about me was.” He drew in a deep breath. “Please permit me to begin anew. To call on you as Mr. Darcy.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Elizabeth dragged her gaze from the raw hope on Mr. Darcy’s face. With all that stood between them, could she begin anew? Did she want him to call on her? To court her in earnest? She would not raise his expectations only to crush them. “I do not know. I need time to think.”
The hope in his eyes flickered, but did not extinguish. “I will afford you any time for which you ask.”
Elizabeth pursed her lips. “You did not know of the threat to you or of the deception?”
