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“Are you saying my bark is worse than my bite?”
“I don’t know.” She tapped her chin. The mirror-lens sunglasses reflected his own face back to him, stopping him from being able to read her fully. “The student in me feels that more research is required.”
“And the woman in you?”
Her lips parted. “Also thinks more research is required.”
The boat stopped, cutting off their conversation, and their tour guide told them it was time to get snorkeling. They took a few minutes to fit themselves with snorkels and flippers. Marianna struggled to balance, so Nico helped her down to the flat part of the boat where they would jump into the water.
Marianna stood at the edge, her hands balled by her sides. “I…” She looked at him. “I’ve never been snorkeling before.”
“Are you scared?”
She nodded. “I want to do it, though.”
“Do you want me to go first?” He adjusted his snorkel.
“Well…” She looked over the edge of the boat and swallowed. “Could we go together?”
He came up beside her and grabbed hold of her hand, squeezing her slightly. She squeezed back, and for some reason it reassured him, too, even though he had no idea what the hell the action was supposed to do for him, since he was as confident a swimmer as anyone who lived by the water.
“Remember to blow through the snorkel to keep the water out, okay?” he said. “I’ve got you.”
It was enough to visibly relax her, and she nodded, her mouth set into a determined line. “Ready?”
On her count, they jumped in together, and Nico let the water swallow him. For a moment, he let himself drop without moving, without fighting. Why hadn’t he done this in so long? The feeling of being surrounded by the ocean, nothing but bubbles for sound and blue for miles in every direction, comforted him more than anything else had in a very long time. Usually, swimming was utilitarian, for the purpose of exercising his muscles. Occasionally he went for a swim when a difficult work problem had taken hold of his brain. But it was always numbers and counting, forward motion. Progression.
Never this blissful sinking.
He pumped his legs, getting used to the feel of the flippers as he propelled himself upward, breaking the surface with a splash. Pulling his mask onto his forehead, he searched for Marianna.
“Bloody hell!” She still had her mask on, but the breathing tube was dangling from the side. “I was going to send a search party.”
Her concern seemed genuine, though whether it was about him or the fact that she’d end up in the water alone was another thing entirely. “I’m here now. The sharks aren’t usually hungry this time of day.”
Her eyes widened for a split second before she glared at him. “Very funny.”
He chuckled to himself and pulled his mask back down, dipping his face into the water to test that it was sealed. “Ready?” he asked, and when she nodded he popped his breathing tube back into his mouth.
The salty tang of the water stirred memories inside him. A “family holiday” from long ago. Not his family, obviously. Just the people kind enough to let him pretend he belonged…until he didn’t. He’d watched Alethea strip down to her bathing suit before swimming around like a mermaid who’d returned home. She belonged in the water, and so he’d learned to swim at the ripe age of eighteen. Kosta had laughed when he’d hovered at the edge of the boat, terrified in the same way Marianna had been a moment ago. He’d pushed young Nico in, taking the “sink or swim” approach he used when teaching him to play the stock market. The man could be harsh, imbued with what they’d now call “toxic masculinity” born of a different era, but despite those faults he’d also been the only person to ever give Nico a chance.
The water blurred in front of his eyes. He hadn’t allowed himself to mourn Kosta’s death, but here in the anonymity of the ocean, tears pricked his eyes. Up ahead, Marianna swam close to the surface, not letting her breathing tube dip. She was cautious but curious, chasing this fish and that until they neared a slight curve in the earth below the water. There were a few cave formations in this area. They followed the rocks, coming across of smattering of bright red starfish. Marianna’s head whipped around to Nico, her eyes wide and finger pointing.
Her excitement made him smile. Why had it been so long since he’d come here? He made a promise to himself then that it wouldn’t be so long next time, that as soon as the baby was old enough he’d teach them about the hidden world he’d been plunged into all those years ago.
He had no idea how long they swam for. In truth, he could have watched Marianna’s feet kicking ahead of him all day long. Every time she found something of interest, she called him over, gesturing and often forcing him to pop his head out of the water so she could tell him what she was thinking. Regardless of how they’d come to be in this position, he had no doubt then that she would be an incredible mother. Her excitement was contagious, and soon he found himself mimicking her, pointing things out and chasing fish himself.
