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“I want a new agreement.”
The laugh that came out of Nico’s mouth sounded like no other laugh she’d ever heard before. It was hauntingly hollow. Devoid of humor. “Why? Did Julian reject you? Does he not love you back?”
Humiliation sunk its claws into her skin. “When I said I love him, I meant as a friend. Platonic love. And he does love me back. More than I love him, in fact. He wanted me to go back to Australia with him, but I said no because I want to give us a shot.”
“Maybe you should have gone.”
Nico may as well have held up a grenade and pulled the pin, because it sure felt like an explosion ripped through her. He was giving her nothing. Not a damn inch.
“Why are you punishing me?” she asked.
“I’m not punishing you. I’m outlining the terms of our agreement.” He stared her down. “Look, that weekend…it was a mistake. We both got caught up in a moment, but the fact is I don’t want a real wife. I will be the best father I can, because I take that role very seriously. But I will not give you sunshine and rainbows and a happily ever after.”
“What changed?”
“I had a momentary lapse of judgement, but you helped me to remember why I don’t get involved with people.”
“How? By being honest?” She shook her head.
“It’s only honesty if I open this letter and find out you’re telling the truth.”
Balling her fists, she took a moment to collect herself. He was pushing her away by insulting her. It was a cheap move, but it would only work if she let it. “Nico, I know you’ve had a rough life. I know you haven’t been able to rely on many people, but I’m telling you now: you can trust me. I won’t hurt you.”
“I don’t trust you, Marianna. I don’t trust anyone.” The silence vibrated, thick and tense between them. “Don’t take it personally.”
“I want to take it personally, Nico. I am taking it personally. Because that’s what a marriage is, it’s bloody personal.” She pushed up and went to him by the window. “I want to make us work. I want…to be with you.”
When the words left her lips, the world split apart beneath her feet. Everything was so fraught, so illogical. So out of the realms of her experience. But all she knew was that for the first time in her life she was making her own decisions. She was in charge of demanding what she wanted and not accepting anything less.
She was going to be a mother, and that meant she could no longer be passive in her life. She would not let the world pass her by while she cowered behind the men making decisions. Her demands would be heard, and she would take control of her destiny.
“I want to know what the letter says.” He held out his hand again.
Marianna’s heart shattered in her chest. “If you make me hand this envelope over, then I will pack my bags and walk out of here. Because I will not live with someone who thinks I’m a liar.”
“Fine. You can meet the driver out front in half an hour.”
Chapter Seventeen
Nico had never been such a prick in all his life.
Because right now, watching his wife speak with passion so raw and unfiltered, his whole body was alight with desire for her. And not only because she looked like a beautiful, angry goddess in her floor-sweeping yellow dress with her hair tumbling uninhibited down her shoulders. No, her physical beauty was only one element.
He desired her spirit, her honesty. Her fearlessness in chasing what she wanted. Her bravery in putting herself out into the world. This was a woman who’d travelled across the globe to face him in person when she’d discovered she was pregnant. Brave did not even begin to cover it.
But these were the very reasons why he couldn’t allow himself to get attached to her. Given the right circumstances, she would destroy him. And Dion had been right: a woman like Marianna would always desire more from those around her. Because she herself was incapable of giving the bare minimum in life.
“You’re bluffing,” she said.
“I’m not.” He most definitely, absolutely, and unequivocally was.
“S’ agapo.”
I love you.
Nico closed his eyes so he could gather his strength. He could not give in to this passionate, incredible woman.
“I wanted to surprise you,” she said. “Lydia has been teaching me. I hadn’t planned to tell you now, because I wanted more time to figure out how I felt. But that special thing we had feels like it’s slipping away, and I don’t want to let it go. I know we can be a family, Nico. You just have to trust me.”
He wanted to. With all his being he wanted to. But the last time someone had said they loved him…Alethea had been lying to him. There was no way she could have gone behind his back and made a decision that affected both of them so deeply if she’d truly loved him. He had to remember that. Because Marianna said she wanted them to be a family now…but that could change. And in the future, once he’d grown comfortable and secure, losing her would hurt even more than it did now.
“I don’t trust you,” he growled. “I won’t trust you. You’re asking me for something I am not capable of.” She reached for him, but he took a step back. “You don’t get it, do you? This marriage means nothing to me. The only reason you’re here is because we both made a mistake, and provided the child is mine, I will do my best to be a good father. But that’s it.”
